this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Java

Thats your first mistake bucko

[–] babybus@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 day ago (7 children)

If it took anon 30 minutes to write hello world in java, programming is not for anon.

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[–] _____@lemm.ee 29 points 1 day ago (6 children)

C# masterrace and I'm tired of pretending it's not

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[–] Clbull@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (6 children)
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[–] jrgn@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not using Eclipse helps. Using Scala helps even more

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[–] Orbituary@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (6 children)

My old boss is one of the 3 initial creators of Java. He ran our department the same way this greentext reads.

He was also a paedo. You can figure out the rest if you dig.

[–] remi_pan@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago

Known for : the Java programming language, internet sex crime and the fantasy defense.

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[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 56 points 1 day ago (17 children)

Am I weird for liking Java? I feel like it just makes so much more sense than other languages.

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (17 children)

C# is nearly the same, but much, much better.

  • It doesn't (usually) come with the Java culture 8 layers of abstraction. This isn't in the Java language. This isn't in OO. Yet nearly every Java programmer makes things way more complicated than it needs to be.
  • It's a prettier language. Similar syntax with less bullshit.
  • It's open source
  • It's still multiplatform. Modern dotnet / C# works on anything.
  • Both Visual Studio and Visual Studio code are great IDEs that blow Eclipse out of the water
  • It's one of the most common business languages.
  • It's going to be supported forever.

If I could restrict the world of programming to two languages, it'd be C# and Rust. C# for most things and Rust for a lower level language.

[–] dev_null@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I thought I like Java until I tried Kotlin. It's everything I liked about Java, but with everything wrong with it fixed.

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[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 73 points 2 days ago (41 children)

Can anyone who's actually dealt with Java tell me how much Anon is exaggerating?

[–] scottmeme@sh.itjust.works 133 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I've worked on a corporate project with multiple Java services, anon isn't really exaggerating. Java can be a hell scape at times

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 day ago (2 children)

They forgot to mention that production Java applications apparently need to log a certain minimum number of completely meaningless stacktraces per hour to work properly. Or at least I assume that is the case from the fact that all of them do that.

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[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 79 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

I'm pretty sure Java doesn't have pointers, so writing a hello world application isn't gonna fuck up nearly that hard.

The one thing he forgot though is that your source file is probably in the folder

com/companyname/net/classes/factory/factoryfactory/worker/lib/bin/refresh/jdk/model/ui/closebutton/press.java

And spread out among a bunch of other directories, and the java file is like...3 lines. But there are 10k files spread all around directories like this that are all 3 lines a piece with a class definition.

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[–] bluelion@sh.itjust.works 44 points 2 days ago (5 children)
  • a hello world doesn't need libraries in Java
  • installing JDK takes at most 5 steps, depending on the OS
  • a nullpointerexception is more likely the developper's fault (unassigned value, calling a function on a null object)
  • IntelliJ is easy to install and modern (granted, other IDEs are very ancient)
  • developping GUI apps is a PITA, no matter the ecosystem (generally)

The rest is more or less spot on (no idea about concurrency issues though)

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[–] Lysergid@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

95% exaggeration. Here is reality:

  • yeah you need main class coz it’s OO-language. Though, not required anymore, which should’ve been done once Java got scrip language capabilities (jshell) back in JDK 9. But as of today not required anymore
  • imports exist in most if not all languages. Gotta be insane writing them manually in 2010 let alone 2024
  • installing Java runtime (JRE) is as simple as installing any app. Though for installing JDK you need 5 mins for setting PATH. Think about JDK as like TSC or Webpack and JRE as a Browser. I’d argue installing and configuring JDK is simpler than TSC or Webpack
  • Unless you doing some non-trivial multi-threading your stack trace will tell you exactly where is your NPE. You gotta be as blind as my teammates to spend more than 1 minutes to find where it is coz it literally tells you file and line numer where Exception occurred
  • I mean, yeah if you use IDE from 2000 it will look like it. IntelliJ looks modern, though I don’t like the fact latest versions look like VSCode
  • I hardly reach 3G of deps from all 10 projects I have on my workstation.
  • IDK what anon means by ecosystem here, Java ecosystem is quite standard across the board. JDK(std lib), Maven/Gradle(deps, build, publishing), Spring Framework (all sorts of blueprints and solutions to standard app level problems), Hibernate/JPA (ORM), JUnit+Mockito (testing). These are tools and libs used in 90% of projects I worked on. Of course there will be more depending on project needs. Layers? It’s not like language imposes any layers whatsoever. It’s just common practice to have 3-4 layers and some glue in-between.
  • don’t do GUI in Java it sucks and will suck until Java gets string interpolation. Hopefully soon
  • concurrency is actually the only thing which is really bloated in Java. Which will change with next LTS version if I remember correctly. And it’s not that hard if you actually read the f manual and not just “try and hope”. Again it will become much more efficient and easier to follow soon. As of now - yeah, not trivial. But people mostly prematurely optimize, so karma
  • Java is kinda have 20 ways to do same thing but actually no. Java built with idea of providing simple building blocks. Then it provides more specific API built on top of those building blocks. It allows to have API which solves typical problems and provides capability to solve custom problems with those building blocks. People often confuse this as many ways to do one thing but it’s like saying “I can have byte array why I need string data type”. Those are different levels of abstraction

Edit: typos

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[–] arc@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Could be worse, could be programming Javascript (or Typescript).

[–] Seeders@sh.itjust.works 1 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (4 children)

I love javascript. Shit. Just. Works.

Even if you, the programmer, are a complete fucking moron, by god javascript will try to make your program run as long as possible.

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