I felt that being like 15 years old, then got excited over one girl (that worked as a temporary solution), then she ditched me, so I have a good fat trauma to return to if bored.
ADHD
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This is the first time I've seen someone else describe exactly how I have been feeling every single day for the last few years. Like, to a T.
I feel pretty much the same way... Do you feel more lonely than before your excitement run out?
It sounds like you've developed depression and it's making your ADHD symptoms worse.
See a therapist if you can afford it, or at least a regular doctor and get some antidepressants
I understand completely. I'm over 40, and my normal day is: go to work, come home, smoke weed and hang out with my wife. She needs the TV running at all times, and it's near impossible for me to look away from it when it's on.
Sometimes I think about all the things we could be doing and I feel disappointed in myself, but aside from chores that get put off a little longer than they should, there's not really anything else I want to be doing. I'm depressingly content in my mediocrity. (Does that count as a paradox?)
As someone else said, they feel guilty diving into an obsession, and I agree completely. I think I'd love to jump into Balder's Gate, but my wife has no interest in watching me do that, so I'd feel guilty about not spending that time with her. And yes, I realize that we are allowed to have our own interests, but a game like that could absorb me for a whole night and it would only feel like a moment to me.
I don't want to sound like an ass but its quite likely that much of your experience is caused by weed, especially being content with mediocrity and mild depression. I'm speaking from current experience of how much my perception of things is changing on a t-break.
No it's cool. Very fair point.