It sounds like you've developed depression and it's making your ADHD symptoms worse.
See a therapist if you can afford it, or at least a regular doctor and get some antidepressants
this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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ADHD
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Also notable that depression can be a symptom of adhd.
It's the repeating steps of ADHD
- Not have the capacity to manage.
- Get depressed.
- Have worse capacity to manage.
- Go back to step one.
I understand completely. I'm over 40, and my normal day is: go to work, come home, smoke weed and hang out with my wife. She needs the TV running at all times, and it's near impossible for me to look away from it when it's on.
Sometimes I think about all the things we could be doing and I feel disappointed in myself, but aside from chores that get put off a little longer than they should, there's not really anything else I want to be doing. I'm depressingly content in my mediocrity. (Does that count as a paradox?)
As someone else said, they feel guilty diving into an obsession, and I agree completely. I think I'd love to jump into Balder's Gate, but my wife has no interest in watching me do that, so I'd feel guilty about not spending that time with her. And yes, I realize that we are allowed to have our own interests, but a game like that could absorb me for a whole night and it would only feel like a moment to me.
I don't want to sound like an ass but its quite likely that much of your experience is caused by weed, especially being content with mediocrity and mild depression. I'm speaking from current experience of how much my perception of things is changing on a t-break.
No it's cool. Very fair point.
Gainful employment: check Life partner: check Luxury of free time for tv: check Legal (ish) herb access: check
My friend, that all sounds lovely to me. Don't fall trap to societal (and especially capitalistic) definitions of achievement and mediocrity that demand a constant stream of more more more. It's ok to be content and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
That being said, if you're unhappy, get after it. You mention wanting to play Baldurs Gate but feeling guilty about lack of partner time and fear of getting sucked into it for hours: what if you both dedicate a personal hobby night once a week where you can both do whatever and get lost in your own worlds separately without guilt? My partner and I recently started doing this on Fridays and it's been a game changer.
This may be adult disenchantment. I think this is a general progression of how we see the world.
I personally still have a ton of awesome things to deal with etc, but absolutely, diving into fantasy dreamworlds is farer away
I felt that being like 15 years old, then got excited over one girl (that worked as a temporary solution), then she ditched me, so I have a good fat trauma to return to if bored.
This is the first time I've seen someone else describe exactly how I have been feeling every single day for the last few years. Like, to a T.
I feel pretty much the same way... Do you feel more lonely than before your excitement run out?
Career-wise, yes, in my experience.
When you start out in junior positions, you don’t tend to have a lot of autonomy in your work life. Other people are setting priorities, deadlines etc, and you’re just along for the ride.
As your career advances, you tend to take on more leadership duties. You’re more responsible for managing your own work, and then eventually other peoples’ as well. This is where executive functioning deficits tend to start to really hit home.
It’s not for nothing that a lot of people get diagnosed in middle age.
FUCK this is me so bad right now. Just lost a nice position for this exact reason and now I'm back on the job hunt scramble. It's tough