this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
248 points (97.7% liked)

The Onion

4305 readers
374 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

“Unfortunately, the coverage you paid for doesn’t extend to any situation where there is water in, on, or around your home,” said Pat Treacy, a claims adjuster at Countrywide Mutual Insurance who informed the Colemans that their policy had actually been voided the moment they first filled their bathtub or ran water from their sinks. “It’s industry standard, I’m afraid. Houses just aren’t meant to get wet. No insurance company anywhere would take on that kind of liability. If it’s possible to prove the house remained dry during the storm, and it just sort of fell down on its own, then maybe a case could be made for approving your claim.” Treacy went on to wish the Coleman family well and said he would keep an eye out for them on GoFundMe.

top 12 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mysoulishome@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It’s funny but I still have PTSD from working cat events and having to tell 100 people that homeowners’ insurance doesn’t cover flooding. Probably sounds like nothing to you but It’s emotionally exhausting and insurance policies have to be written so plenty of money is paid out showing that customers are getting value out of being insured, but not so much that the company goes bankrupt.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (2 children)

insurance policies have to be written so plenty of money is paid out showing that customers are getting value out of being insured, but not so much that the company goes bankrupt.

A reminder that insurance is just profit driven socialism in a mask.

[–] Addv4@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

It's more calculated betting, even if done at a government scale.

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 3 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

It isn't at all, but apparently any form of price/cost distribution is indistinguishable from any democratically 'owned'/managed/controlled productive enterprise.

Using this logic, a giant conglomocorp that uses 10% of the profits from one line of business to internally subsidize an expanding line of business hoping to gain a monopoly there, is socialist.

Just throw on a subscription model where some users barely use the service and others use it maximally, if you need the analogy to be more accurate.

What would actually make an insurance company socialist is if it were a worker owned co-op, where all workers voted on large company policy changes, hell maybe even include the policy holders in those votes too!... or if the entire thing were a government agency in a faaaar more direct, transparent and accountable democracy than what exists in the US currently.

[–] thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bit the onion on that one.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To be fair, it isn't far from the truth. A lot of people have insurance and think they are covered not knowing that flood insurance is separate.

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Came in here to say something similar. I hear that you basically can't get flood insurance in my hometown anymore thanks to the risk now due to climate change.

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When we lived in Charleston SC in the early 2000s we had a wake up call because due to USA corps of engineers new zoning we were in a flood zone, and were forced to purchase National Flood Insurance, this was apart from all other and could not be part of your escrow payment. 1x per year, 2k+ payment you had to pull out of your ass.

[–] baggins@beehaw.org 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And I bet there are more than a few that don't have it, but expect the gubmint to pay.

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you're mandated to have flood insurance with your mortgage, you must have it.

[–] baggins@beehaw.org 2 points 1 day ago

Ah right, not like household insurance then, at least here in UK. I've seen a few instances of people with no insurance having lost everything.