this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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What's next, putting wheels behind them or something?

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[–] teft@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

Not often that you see a meme with PIE. Bravo.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

W-what are you doing steppe nomad?

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What did you say that thing is? A *kʷekʷlo ? Stupid invention, it'll never catch on.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Hey, you're insulting the precursor of the revered kekw, back before kekw and lol were two separate words

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I need an explanation this one

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Domestication of the horse had massive impacts on human civilization

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Horse civilization also had some crazy memes when humans first started riding them.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago

Ahhhhh, horse

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Yamnaya, the common ancestors of European, Hindi and Farsi speaking populations, are probably the first group to ride horses. This super charges pastoralism and transformed the steppe, warfare and Eurasian genetics. Their descendents developed the spoked wheel.

The funny looking words are reconstructed proto-indo-european terms -

*koryos is a kind of ritual teenaged war band that ate their own dogs and lived in the wilderness before becoming full citizens.

*h1ekwos means horse, think 'equestrian' from the Latin 'equus'. The 'h1' means it's one of three h-like sounds that we can't reconstruct exactly but know existed.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

Ah, neat. Thank you

[–] Hubi 7 points 2 months ago

I bet my Proto-Indo-European ancestors are disappointed in me for not getting the joke.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Some fad. They're all the rage in Mesopotamia.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 4 points 2 months ago

That sounds like a good place to invade, let's go.

[–] zabadoh@ani.social 5 points 2 months ago

You "jumped on a *h:ekwos"

In what manner?

There are consequences for human civilization either way.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Hekwos?

In Finnish modern horse is "hevonen"

Not far, imo.