Bitwarden is cheap enough, and I trust them as a company enough that I have no interest in self hosting vaultwarden.
However, all these hoops you have had to jump through are excellent learning experiences that are a benefit to apply to more of your self hosted setup.
Reverse proxies are the backbone of hosting and services these days.
Learning how to inspect docker containers, source code, config files and documentation to find where critical files are stored is extremely useful.
Learning how to set up more useful/granular backups beyond a basic VM snapshot in proxmox can be applied to any install anywhere.
The most annoying thing about a lot of these is that tutorials are "minimal viable setup" sorta things.
Like "now you have it setup, make sure you tune it for production" and it just ends.
And finding other tutorials that talk about the next step, to get things production ready, often reference out dated versions, or have different core setups so doesn't quite apply.
I understand your frustrations.