exchristian

One day, it is like a hammer has hit you on the head. It rings and rings, numbing you - just a mere human in a universe of truth and unknown space.

I want to add, this observation really stood out to me:

People feel drawn to religious communities because of that word, "community." People want fellowship, to have other people who will love and support you. But I was struck by how lonely you seemed when you were in this lifestyle and when you were married. It seems a lot of people feel alone in this community.

People hail religion as a ready-made source of community. But I think this forgets how easily that community can isolate you and create a lonely environment. Just because you're surrounded by people yelling about how they're looking after your best interests doesn't make it true.

I was raised Christian and have kept many of the values I was taught including love, faith and hope. The bible provides a wealth of wisdom for me (as do other books) ✝️

That being said I also carry significant generational trauma from my parents and their parents. My mom wasn't allowed to do the things she wanted to 😶

She could only marry within her own church, which quite frankly amounts to a sect in my eyes. She wasn't allowed to grow and study anything beyond cleaning and cooking. And let me tell you she is absolutely terrible at both and has trauma surrounding both 😵‍💫

It's so sad to see her still struggle with self esteem to this day. It's like her flame was extinguished. She tries, and sometimes succeeds, which has shaped my sister and me to become who we are today. But it's clear that she just can't overcome it for herself 🥺

Honestly it's just golden calves recast as golden crosses 🤔