Microblog Memes

albanian virus.

In a programming class, one of my professors sometimes remolety opened the xeyes program (Linux program that opens a pair of eyes that follow your cursor) on students that were not paying a lot of attention.

Three options come to mind.

A virus that adjusts your mouse sensitivity by like 5% every time you unlock your computer. Just enough that existing muscle memory is off, so you either have to adjust to the change or change it back every time.

A virus that installs and/or sets a similar but not quite right keyboard layout, and swaps to it randomly few boots. For example, setting the keyboard to Canadian Multilingual Standard instead of US English, where its only some of the punctuation keys that are changed.

A virus that randomly pops up a terminal window and outputs suspicious-looking text, and closes itself before the user has time to read it.

Autohotkey script that shuts the system down whenever someone types out certain key words. They of course include words related to looking up the issue like "help", "randomly", "virus" and so on. Not the most sophisticated but one I've actually done before.

Edit: Forgot to mention that ahk needs to be installed and the script must be placed in the autostart folder. Both can be achieved on a coworker's or family member's machine with a ducky usb stick.

In the early 90s there was a virus going around that made the floppy drive's loading noises play the Imperial March.

That poor guy that thought he accomplished it by just having a virus that changed peoples files to pictures from Clannad but got arrested for copyright.
Like genue wishing this one.

I don’t remember the details but my mom’s first cousin called me once to fix her computer when I was a teenager.

No matter what she typed it came out as, “I AM FUCKING GAY!”

Seems like all I had to do was type “stop”.

Every time you log in, maximize a window, lock your PC, etc, your desktop icons randomly arrange themselves by penis. Open a folder, forced to display files as icons and arranged by penis. Try to view all your open windows on your desktop, you guessed it, penis.

A virus that changes Windows' sticky keys to only requiring two taps of the shift key.

I believe that specific site was called "Last Measure". It would also open up a bunch of shock sites...

I had one guy in the late 90s at my HS who made a program that copied itself onto every directory on the computer at startup. It was a .com file and if you ran it it would use the PC speakers to play a tone increasing in volume and pitch until it was unbearable. You had to do a hard boot to end it.

I also remember the Form virus that made the PC speakers make a sound each time you pressed a key. Can't remember if it did anything else.

In my highschool programming class we made a TSR (in Borland pascal) that would change every 15th keypress to an "e". It wasn't self propagating, so it wasn't a virus per day, but it was highly annoying. It survived on memory after the netware logoff, and you could only get rid of it by rebooting.

We also had these everex brand 286 or 386 computers.... They had a little LCD screen that would read out what sector/track was being read on the disk. We found the memory address (80h) where we could write arbitrary text to the LCD. That was fun.

Uhh, it was "Hey everybody, I'm looking at gay porno!" and then it proceeded to spawn hundreds of internet exploder windows pointing at goatse.cx. Thank God I was at home, alone, when it got me.

I used to make a batch file that opened a command prompt that opened the batch file again and again and put it on the computers as the internet Explorer logo.

People would get so mad when they opened it as a cascade of cmd would open until the computer crashed

So something like that i think

When I was in high school in the 90s a group of us in computer class made a 'virus' that would launch the hamster dance website in all of the classroom computers randomly. We had to put it on a diskette and install it manually on each computer but at the time none of the computers even had antivirus so the school had to reformat them to remove it.

«I’m watching porno» - not porn. This was around y2k

While the computer is on, at random intervals, it shall play the sound of a smoke alarm's low battery beep using audio technology to make it sound like it's coming from somewhere else in your house.

Supposedly there was a DOS virus that would spawn a pacman that would eat your letters as you typed them.

When I worked at an MSP in early 2000s they would “prank” new hires with a site that did this. It would keep creating popups so you couldn’t close them. That stopped after customers heard it. More horrid graphical “pranks” replaced it of course.