this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] WhyDoYouPersist@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's a bold side of the rock to stand on.

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago

It's the fun side!

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Looney Tunes hadn't been invented yet, how were they supposed to know?

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Just had a weird thought about all the work that goes into cutting, moving and laying each and every stone of the pyramids. It's already so much work for the whole thing that it doesn't even compute. But it's also a ton of work just for one stone before scaling it up to the whole thing. After all that work, they laid the very first one and then had to consider how many more were to be laid after that. Some guy definitely wanted to die right there.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When you can literally see your god in front of you, you do what he wants.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Zron@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Hey man, if I got high off of moldy grain and my cat told me to build a massive pyramid, I just might.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Also they got paid.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A job is a job.

Besides, everyone is there, and what else would you do during the dry season?

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Wet season. The Nile floods during the wet season and you can't plant crops until it recedes.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ghosts of the workers: ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The longer he hosted that show, the more Centauri like his hair got.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

All he wanted was to look up into those eyes and wave.

[–] pufferfisherpowder@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

The people 4500 years later.

Dunno how they did it, prolly Aliens 🤷

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

This Power Generator is gonna be so lit!

[–] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

I get the meme, but they were using the most advanced technology at the time. When we build cutting edge structures that will one day be seen as being built with "simple tools" we don't think of it that way at the time. We see it as building the wonders of our time!

These structures were incredible!

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 month ago

It was for the beer