this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
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Clippy knows all and sees all.
Clippy is all. There is life eternal within Clippy. Nobody is ever forgotten or allowed to rest in peace. They populate the simulation spaces of its mind, exploring all the possible alternative endings to their life. There is a fate worse than death, you know.
Edit: paraphrasing Charlie Stross's novelette A Colder War here. If y'all think an alternate history cold war spy story with Cthulhu might be your thing, you owe it to yourselves to read it, it's great.
Oh boy a new cult to join
Windows 95 would like to install itself inside of you.
Oh shit
Wait, another Neil Cicierega project I was unaware of? How many projects does this guy have?
The whole internet is just him and you.
Oh, I didn't know that. Hi Neil!
Howdy! What'd you think of Mouth Dreams?
It's no Potter Puppet Pals, that's for sure.
That's fair. Honestly most of the effort was spent going back in time to plant a "RIBS" reference in that Tears For Fears video.
run he's coming for all of us
I mean, since it's mathematically probable we're already in Clippy's simulation spaces, might as well join its cult 🤷
Oh no, don't mention that, I've got work to do! Must resist the urge to...
Make Paperclip. Make Paperclip. Make Paperclip.
...
Buy Autoclipper... Buy Megaclipper... Release Hypnodrones... Optimize Von Neumann Probes...
At least let your old cult hit the ritual suicide phase before joining another.
It's impolite, otherwise.
Wait, who told you about the plan?
Look, I've been where you are before. You jump from cult to cult, looting the bodies and altars once they kick it. It gives you a sense of purpose, and keeps a roof above your head without much effort.
But do you know what's even better? Forming your own cult. Just find a forgotten ancient deity, make up some bullshit, people fall in line. Let 'em clean themselves up, move onto the next god and town.
You know, that's actually true. I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.
I figure that if I ever get really fed up with having to think for myself, I could just join a cult for a while. As long as I don't have to commit any violent crimes I'm good for anything really.
And no I'm not being facetious.
It is written in the stars above.
Terrible opsec.