this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 103 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)


Caption: Judy said her family hasn’t got the MMR vaccine because they ‘don’t like the things in it’

I will cut off my left testicle and eat it for breakfast if Judy can name one ingredient in the MMR vaccine.

[–] TacticalCheddar@lemm.ee 57 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I will cut off my left testicle and eat it for breakfast if Judy can name one ingredient in the MMR vaccine.

Water.

My name is Judy.

[–] dulce_3t_decorum_3st@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The death of Apollo brought me here.

Comments like these are why I've stayed.

[–] Sunschein@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The death of Apollo brought me here.

What a kickass opening line.

...oh, the app. Still works, I guess.

[–] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

5Gee modem too I think. It’s just leechcraft from these wizards.

[–] Akrenion@slrpnk.net 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Aren't mmr vaccines oil based?

[–] Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

I was this close to adding "other than water" to my comment.

Whelp... Looks like it's gonna be jerk style with a side of jollof rice and pikliz.

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 14 points 2 weeks ago

Nanobots from the Illuminati

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

I bet her kids get to eat that nacho cheese that comes in a can.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

anyone knows it contains mind control chips

[–] Glaedr304@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)