this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
175 points (91.1% liked)

Asklemmy

43147 readers
1609 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca 112 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There's no shame in changing your mind, there is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in self improvement, try to love yourself as a whole and work towards changing the things you don't love.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That changing your mind is so key. Often times people attach personal value to opinions as though they're related.

The ego gets involved when it should fuck right off.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sometimes people around them don’t make it any easier. If people around a person immediately show contempt to a person who admits they were wrong, it enforces a microculture where change is going to be harder and more painful than necessary.

[–] noobdoomguy8658@feddit.de 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is a real problem with changing your mind.

I can't believe how many times I've been told I've changed when I no longer found something funny or said something that I wouldn't have in my teen years.

One of the longest-running opinions of mine that hasn't been disproved yet is that many people just don't really mature or age mentally, it seems; they just grow older, without accumulating much if any wisdom.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Some grow wiser, but one of the lessons of my 20s has been you have to do it on purpose. I’m not wiser than I was 5 years ago on accident.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can also love the parts you’re going to change, as you change them. You don’t have to turn off the love to do surgery.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s very true. I routinely change the parts of me I love. I try to make them better. I’m a kind and loving person, but I’m trying to change that from a selfless form to a self preserving form. To know my limits and stop pouring from an empty cup.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

You can even love the parts you are saying goodbye to. Not improving, but eliminating. You never have to turn off the love at all ever for anything.