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Most damage comes from heat, and rough handling, so I sort by structure/weight, and wash almost everything on cold, and tumble dry on low, auto-sense.
The only color I wash separate is white so it can run hot and with bleach.
I also presort, by weight into 4 bins heavyweight, middleweight, lightweight/dress-shirts, and finally undergarments/delicates/socks
We might go a 2-3 weeks between a running a particular bin so we can separate things out just because there is enough to fill out it’s own load.
Undergarments and deli sites go together, might add leggings or lightweight tops to fill out a load
Socks are separate merely because we like fluffy wool socks and they will fill their own load, and it’s easier to pair them when they all come out together. Otherwise they’d be with undergarments. Might run on warm if the foot stank is real bad.
Sturdy fabrics like denim and duck all go together in a denim cycle it’s just cold/cold with a heavy spin
Sweats and other heavy bulkys go together so they don’t twist up lighter clothes. Might run these with denim or towels
Lightweight tops and button down shirts go together. Lightweight sweaters might be get mixed in too.
Then general laundry is middleweight fabrics: t-shirts, slacks leggings, etc.
If there’s enough for their own load, towels get a hot cycle to get cut down on microbial growth. Otherwise they go with denim and/or sweats. NEVER USE FABRIC SOFTENER/DRYER SHEETS ON TOWELS. It makes things softer by adding oils THAT prevent them from absorbing water, which is the whole point of towels.
Sheets and pillowcases might get a warm cycle and pre wash to help cut through accumulated body grease, etc.
Low heat alone will help a ton like you said, high heat seems to ruin everything and it's just not needed unless unless it's towels maybe.
I knew that fabric softener would stop towel absorption but I never thought about dryer sheets too. I thought those were just antistatic.
Also the "deli sites" typo made me laugh.