this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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Yeah I’ve literally never had anyone bail on a party. If they are they just aren’t your friends (if they’re doing it consistently, things do happen of course).
I don’t agree with the invite everyone thing, but my brother-in-law does that and it seems to work for him. My wife and I hate it though because he always invites the worst people just because he’s trying to make sure people actually show up. So we get terrible ex girlfriends at things like a family camping weekend.
Requesting one small caveat to your thinking: your friends with chronic health issues (physical and/or mental) may bail more often than others but still love you.
My partner has lost friends over them thinking he uses his migraines as an excuse to not show up to things. They feel hurt because he bailed one too many times for them, and he feels hurt because they diminished his disability and didn’t believe him. It’s hard to see the additional toll it takes on him.
(I also have my own chronic issues but thankfully have been able to suck it up often enough to not have it come in the way of friendships. Sometimes he and I are intentional about making sure at least one of us attends something even if we both feel like shit in order to not alienate people we care about.)
Yeah, as someone who is known for bailing on things for mental health reasons, it doesn't mean they don't care about you...