this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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Ask Me Anything

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[–] Flubo 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Would you say that your conversations and discussions are at eye level?

I just ask because i could imagine that it is very demanding for him not to give life advises all the time or take his experiences and project them to your situations. I guess many situations that you have to cope with - he already has a similar story , but still you want to be heard and not directly be given an advice? Also, you might still have the need to explore things yourself and he clearly already experienced a lot and might explain it to you instead of letting you explore by yourself?

I write that without having a bad view on him I just think of my parents being only 20/25 years older than me and not always being able to have that distant view... So I wonder how you deal with that generation gap in your relationship.

[–] betweenthewinds@lemmy.world 9 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I'd say so. I never felt condescension or anything like that in our communication. But admittedly I am very much a listener. I love listening to others, I'm not much of a talker myself. A person who can talk a lot and I just listen is very attractive to me. Plus I've always liked to surround myself with people more experienced / smarter than me. As my parents have always said: it's better to be the fool between intellectuals than the intellectual between fools. I like growing and evolving beside someone who has already gone through it. "Experiencing" things with other inexperienced people (colloquially know as growing together) has never been my thing. I like experiencing things with people who have already gone through it. I like stability, I like a rock. I don't like being with people similar to me, cause I feel like we always clash. I like being given advice and mentored sorta say. I like someone taking the lead. I don't believe age gaps relationships are for everyone, because as you said some people prefer being more "peers" and at the same level. I'm the opposite. Even in regards to friends.

[–] Flubo 4 points 7 hours ago

Thanks :) that makes sense to me now. :)