this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2024
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People talk about being there "for" someone. Here being there "with" him is more important. Something as mundane as letting him take a nap on your couch while you fold laundry. The more regular, boring or routine the better. Best if it's something you can do without talking. That's harder since you can't go see each other, but maybe just leaving a video call on or suggesting it to someone else would help.
When I'm depressed, having someone sitting on the couch in my living room scrolling on their phone is infinitely more meaningful to me than someone who is miles away and texting me a lot or offering to help with things. It's probably part of my neurodivergence but having the person close in proximity while at least sort of paying attention to the room makes me feel less alone than having 10 people trying to check in on me all day.
I've got a couple attempts in my past. For me, this is good advice. There are no words or gestures that would've brought me out the mindset I had. Medication and good friends got me through.