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Do lesbians have a concept of Top and Bottom? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by stoicmaverick@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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It's been a long ol time since I've known any lesbians well enough to ask such things, but I followed my brain down a weird line of inquiry, and got to wondering about the current state of the art for the gay gals. I guess I had always assumed it was similar to the dynamics of a gay guy relationship, but then I realized that since men have both an input and an output, they can choose, but it's mechanically a bit different for cis women. Is there any relationship between that, and the slightly more masculine versus feminine flavors? Asking for a friend, who is me. I want to know. Thanks.

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[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 88 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hi! Not strictly a lesbian here but in a lesbian relationship. Yes, lesbians have top/bottom dynamics typically in the "one doing the action" vs the "one being acted upon" across various different acts. Most switch it up ("vers"), rather than identifying primarily as tops or bottoms. If you are strictly a top or strictly a bottom, you're described as "stone" as in "stone top" or "stone bottom".

Very important that these are completely different roles than dominant/submissive/switch, which are BDSM terms and describe a more psychological aspect of a relationship than the more physical top/bottom/vers.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I always wondered where Steve Austin got his name from.

[–] teawrecks@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I always assumed it was his nickname from when he worked at the creamery.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nope. Turns out he's just a very inflexible lesbian. Who knew?

[–] hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I mean looking at him I can see how he's not very flexible...

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Whatever you say, Stone Cold Growsomethinggood