this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2024
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[–] CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ah I think I see my issue with what you’re saying. I don’t think group 1 is homogeneous. I agree on the rest of that but you have to consider a sub group of group 1, let’s call it 1a, fit the description of “use those words hatefully but will not be easily educated and do not seek out hateful groups to form collectives”.

Whereas group 1b would be the actual people going to rallies and forming hate groups. And so I think that your statement is correct for group 1b but I actually think they’re in the far minority of this group. Their hateful messages may resonate with group 1a but they do not have easy communication and I almost view that messaging as in a critical stage of dying in modern culture.

Like obviously the hate groups have gone somewhat underground. Our politicians may give subtle nods to them or may invent stuff like the phrase “DEI” as a substitute, but that messaging is still lost on the average Joe that has racist sentiments.

If you were to somehow remove the words that group 1a uses and give them no power, they’d still hold their position but not have any way to update their language since it has been pushed to the fringes of society.

I view that group as much larger and more problematic in some ways since they’re more likely to spread a more casual form of hate or distaste than group 1b is. And they’re also more subtle about it.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Makes sense. I honestly don't know the difference in sizes between groups 1 and 2 are, I'm just assuming 2 is a massive majority vs the other two. But maybe 1a is bigger than I thought.

[–] CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It will largely depend on the area you’re in but if I can also point out that group 1a are the people that become group 2 or are parents to group 2 when exposed to a slight amount of education or meet someone that fits the group but don’t ultimately take the undertones of what they’re saying all that seriously. These people usually view group 3 as oversensitive.

So in fact I think that group 2 is rising which is somewhat a good thing but it’s also dangerous to be too critical of them because we’ve seen it push people back the other way. You get too hard with “word policing” and people will rebel against it and that’s much worse imo. Police language too much and you reconvert some portion of group 2 not back into 1a but into the more dangerous 1b.

I’m not saying we accept the language when it hurts people but we shouldn’t be going after people insanely hard for mostly harmless jokes.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, it sounds like we're largely saying the same thing then, or at least something very similar.

I certainly hope we can get to a point where the vast majority are tolerant, and I think we're on that trajectory. I'm so sorry if that's not your experience though, but even in my super conservative corner of the world, it does seem to be getting better.

[–] CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Glad we’re on the same page because I found this interesting. I do think it’s getting much better especially with younger people. Even in the places I’ve been in Oklahoma, it’s more tolerant than you think. Still not great but not hellish.

And I appreciate the consideration for my experience, it’s not perfect. One of my parents is largely accepting but not fully supportive and the other is unsupportive and the relationship is tenuous. I do agree it’s getting better and somewhat quickly, but I’ve had to deal with a lot more crap coming out than what I expected to. It’s opened my eyes to what other minorities have to deal with, the micro-aggressions are very real. Even just having a parent call my partner my “friend” is a huge offense that they don’t really recognize.

Anyways that may be more than you asked for but it’s really hard to get a picture of the intolerance without directly experiencing it and I didn’t understand that beforehand.

Even just having a parent call my partner my “friend” is a huge offense that they don’t really recognize.

Yeah, I can totally understand that. Saying "partner" or "SO" shouldn't be an issue at all, it doesn't even require them to acknowledge your partner as your spouse, it only requires recognizing the special relationship you two share.

I'm hopeful that most of this type of thing comes from a place of ignorance instead of malice. But yeah, I don't have first-hand experience, the closest I have is an immigrant spouse, but the main conflict we have is neighbors "not understanding" them when they talk (my spouse's accent is very minor, and when we met, I thought they grew up here). That doesn't hold a candle to what other minorities go through day-to-day.