this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2024
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I find this does the opposite of helping.
One of two things happen: more commonly, I break it down too far. Now, the task isn't "clean", it's about 28 steps of get x cleaner and y supplies and scrub this clean and wash that and do the thing over there to tidy up, etc. Then, once I'm done making a task list for this one very simple thing I need to do, and micromanaging every aspect of it via a list of things to do, I'm now overwhelmed by the massive list of things I need to do in order to accomplish this one very simple task.
On the flip side, if I don't micro manage myself into task paralysis, I end up breaking it into smaller sections, like "clean living room" and "clean bedroom" etc.... And make an agreement with myself to do one today, one tomorrow, etc, until everything is cleaned. So today I only need to clean room x, and I'll do room y tomorrow. So I clean room x, but I don't want to put away all the cleaning stuff, I'll just need it tomorrow, so I put it in the corner ready to go for tomorrow. I accomplished something, I cleaned a room. I'll do the rest later. About three months later, I'll wonder why the cleaning supplies are sitting out, and remember I was supposed to clean room y. Feeling like a failure, I'll be unhappy with myself and instead of getting back to that task I'll just put the cleaning stuff away, because if I'm going to start over, I'll need to clean room x again. You see, the dopamine from getting room x cleaned that one time basically made my brain say "yep, task is done, we cleaned" then file it away in the completed file, never to be thought of again.
For me, I have to go all or nothing and just fight my task paralysis head on. I don't often win, but if I don't, things never get finished.
This, this, 1000% this. And if I do somehow manage to start, I can NOT stop. None of this "do x for y minutes, take z minute break, then go back to doing x." If I stop, I don't know when I'll be able to start again. Which then feeds back into the "overwhelming" loop.
My brain is not kind to me.
Oh yeah the "go for x, break for y, then go again" thing never works for me unless it's go for hours with headphones on, then break in a specific manner for 10-15 minutes, then go again. Then maybe I'll be able to finish properly.
It shouldn't feel like we have to fight our brains to get shit done but I swear half the time it feels like I have to enter the Goddamned Konami Code just to get my shit done lol.