The Onion

We as a people, culture, and society are frankly too selfish and horrible to do something as decent as that. Not our fault, we've been and continue to be conditioned by the owners to be a nation of irredeemable wannabe sociopaths at each other's throats, but the fact remains that's who we are.

Enjoy the cesspool, where greed/sociopathy is our only practiced value, and watching our poorie kids kill poorie kids (because this never happens at the nepo baby private schools) is our national pastime.

Not like we became horrible or anything, we always were. We're a nation built by slaves owned by religious zealots on top of a genocide(of people who lived in homeostasis with the earth instead of actively setting it on fire) who's top exports are tools of volume murder and blueprints for other nations to better exploit their citizenry for their elite's private profit, not like there was ever any grace to lose.

Oh but hey the Axis sunk our pacific fleet once and we fought back after we were attacked which apparently makes us virtuous heroes(?) or something.