Well I set up my email server thru cloudflare and managed to receive emails directly to my basement server. I could live with this and the various security threats incoming thru my unifi. But one thing is for sure, my wife won't have any of it. She's a total backwards thinking give me windows or I'll jump kind of Gal. So I found that I could run a dockerized Thunderbird instance and I thought ... Wow! I can just login to it from my computer or my phone, Surely this is it! I can have emails backed up from Gmail to my server and just access my server! And you know what? It works! I can access my Gmail on my browser! It's beautiful!.... But then I login through my phone and wow! I can access my Gmail! Thru my phone! Except the interface is the same as my desktop. It's literally a VNC to the server. I can login to it on my desktop and watch the mouse move as I move my finger on my phone! Great party trick, but....the text is microscopic. So is there another way to get IMAP and SMTP interface to Gmail, archiving all emails on my own server? I literally don't want any of my emails to live on a Gmail server, but I want to be able to send receive and search emails I previously passed through Gmail but now live on my server.
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Well... No offense... but duh? It's not like OP can migrate his spouses "Spouse@gmail.com" address to his mail server.
I was under the assumption (and I could be wrong) that OP owns the domain... And wants to run their mailboxes. If she wants to keep her own mailbox and use it, just forward it to her gmail if that's what she wants. I'm also not insinuating forcing someone into something.
I own my domain(you guessed correctly) and host my own emails. My spouse does use an inbox on my server(actually a few)... If she didn't want to anymore she can open a mailbox where-ever she wants... and I'll even forward whatever I get to her. That's it. Wouldn't stop me from running my own inbox on my own server. And I'm not forcing her to do anything at all. She can use it or not.
This is the mentality I have when I made the previous comments. Just forward her stuff off, she can go wherever she wants.