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Is this a leading question regarding religion?
Anyway, if you can't control the watcher, and the premise is they are always there, and always will be, you still have to live a life.
If all they ever do is watch, they technically have no impact on you, so your opinion of integrity is unchanged. It's like they don't really exist, aside from the observation.
If they have some judgement on you, then you are functionally living under duress, and the concept of integrity is a mess. There are far bigger problems happening to your "life"
No, it's not solely about religion, but it is part of it. It was motivated by me trying to understand myself.
I was raised by a parent that was always keeping tabs on whether or not i was doing shit right. He let me know when i didn't. This was followed by an ex wife that proved to be exponentially worse.
I was also raised Christian, but have since evolved my ideas of what a higher power may or may not be. I know this has a lot to do with how by brain functions today.
I guess the leading part was if anyone else feels the same way.
I may have gotten a bit too high last night.
Sounds like you were the correct amount of high. It's the only way I get that introspective.