this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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Absolutely. I grew up in pretty pale places and used to be amazed at how welcoming everyone was and how easy it was to find folk to associate with. Fishing, hunting, camping, all that traditional rural stuff.
After graduating and getting out of the area and seeing some of the world, the veil was been lifted. Those people (as a real broad generalization) were polite and welcoming because I had the right lack of melanin. Now, it's far from the truth all over the States, but the past decade has really radicalized people who used to be on a path to being better.
I see it in the generation before us. There's so much vocalized hate I can't fathom what happened. Family members that coached sports teams that were diverse (for where we lived) are now outright spewing racist rhetoric without a hint of self awareness. It's like watching a people turn evil in a horror novel. I've dropped contact with a vast majority of my family because it's exhausting being quote "the liberal in the room" and dealing with the constant shit they spew.
The lines are so clearly defined it doesn't matter that I helped raise their kids. That we used to ride dirt bikes out in the woods. That I remember their first love and first heartbreak. That I remember sitting on the porch sharing a bottle while we celebrated your first grandchild being born. Or mourned over another bottle as we regaled each other with memories of how amazing your mom was when she'd let us stay up all night camped out in your backyard.
Its all been washed away in a tide of nationalism and unchecked ignorance. I miss my family, but I miss hope in humanity even more. Some day we might bite the hand that bleeds us and take arms against the few that rule the many, but it won't be in a world where social media and propaganda news networks exist.
Until then, I mourn my loved ones every day. Whether I lost them to cancer or fox news or the hopelessness of abject poverty. There's a small part of me that will always be open to letting them back in, but it will never be unconditionally again.