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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

60 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] Fester@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

You are human. Accept that imperfection is a built-in feature. No one is going make 100% of people happy. It’s not possible.
95% is great. Your lessons are more successful than most, I reckon. You know if you’re doing a good job or not. You’re the expert here - not the 5%.
You have to accept that you can’t control how other people feel, how things affect them, or how they behave. Your lessons may just not reach certain types, and that is probably not your fault. It may not be their fault either, but they may not understand that.
Students (especially teenagers and often college-age) often think they know the one right way that everything should be done. They’ll find out eventually, hopefully, that their views aren’t infallible, or they’ll grow up to be insufferable. Many students are also just vindictive in reviews if they find out a class isn’t as easy as they expected or if they got a bad grade when they didn’t study. The possibilities are so endless that you’ll just drive yourself insane if you try to take every criticism at face value, when they may well be mostly fiction. (Your being upset by the negative reviews may be their intention.)

Look at other reviews of other instructors, teachers, professors, etc. and you’ll see a pattern. Grade yourself on a curve.