this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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I've never been toxic on Lemmy, and I've never violated the rules of an instance or community I was commenting on. I do however have a disability I've been banned for, and I've espoused pro-trans political views that certain admins have taken issue with.
I actually got banned from startrek.website, the instance I'm leaving this comment from, for a while. They thought I was faking being trans. After a few months, it became clear I'm not faking, and they apologised and here I am.
I've seen your modlog, it shows the banned messages. You are frequently toxic, and if the disorder you are talking about is narcissism, then yeah, that fucking sucks, but its REALLY HARD to have empathy for a dangerous asshole. If you dont have the ability to naturally have empathy, you need to learn how to fake and maintain it, because empathy is a two way street, and we arent going to give you any if you arent going to give us any. Empathy isnt a magical construct, it can be learned and purposely maintained/used. Is that form going to take more energy and effort than natural empathy? Hell yeah it will, but its an important skill for society to function
Sorry, but my empathy is very deeply impaired and there's almost nothing I can do about it. The empathy I feel for others is very finely tuned, I have plenty of it, I always know and understand what other people are feeling. But the empathy I GET from others is nearly nothing. I receive an impaired sense of empathy from neurotypicals. Other people with NPD have been very kind to me, but neurotypicals make a choice not to put in the 10% extra effort it takes to feel empathy for a person with NPD. That's why you think I'm toxic. You're choosing not to feel empathy for me. You're choosing not to understand the position I'm in, and so when I complain about a problem or try to fix it, you think I'm complaining about nothing.
The only thing I can do to resolve my problems with empathy is to campaign for greater recognition of the fact that we disabled people ARE people. Whether you choose to listen is something entirely out of my control.
I'm not choosing to withold empathy from you, I am recognising the very real danger that your disability poses to myself, the fact that I am acknowledging it is a disability is proof that I am cautiously showing you empathy. What I am saying though is that the instant you stop showing me empathy is the instant I shut off empathy for you, the difference (or similarity depending on how you look at it) is that it takes similar amounts of work and intention from me to shut off empathy, as it would take for you to turn on empathy. Neurotyps are only ever going to think about narcissism enough to cut empathy off to you if you've TOLD them you are a narcissist, or you have shown them so through your actions.
Using my sense of affective empathy, I see that you're scared of me because I'm disabled. Using my sense of cognitive empathy, I make an educated guess that you've accepted a bunch of stereotypes about disabled people as true without seriously checking them. Putting myself in your shoes, I can only imagine I would take such a confrontational stance with someone just for how they were born, if I was scared absolutely shitless. Drawing on my own experience as a person living with NPD, and factoring in your lack of experience, I don't believe at all what you're saying about neurotypicals having empathy for people with NPD by default and making a conscious choice to turn it off. I've been in thousands of situations where a neurotypical interacted with a person living with NPD, involving thousands of neurotypicals. I only know of one time you've been in such a situation.
So heres the thing, you're twisting the narrative. You're trying to be the victim here. I'm not saying you are dangerous because you're disabled, you are PROVING you are dangerous by manipulating the conversation to look like you are being victimized. Anyone who's been around the block can spot that kind of manipulation from a mile away and will start avoiding interacting with you as much as possible as soon as they see that because it has the power to seriously fuck up social circles. You need professional help because anyone who ISNT a professional does not have the time or knowledge to interact with you without the risk of fucking up their lives because they got on your bad side. If you want to be accepted more or interact with anyone who isnt young and nieve, you need to stop with the victim complex. I'm not terrified of you, I was giving you some feedback before I inevitably block you and move on with my life because the only way a narcissist can improve their position is if they want to, and the unfortunate thing about that disability is it makes them not really care to. Anyways, I'm officially out because I'm not down with narrative manipulation. I wish you a good life as long as you dont let your disability fuck up numerous other peoples lives