… there's forms you can fill out yourself? Late 20s, i was sent a 40 page workbook and told to give it to my parents. My parents were dead (and they would've never helped me anyway), so I was rejected before i'd even seen a doctor.

A nurse suggested getting an old teacher to fill it out. They're all dead or retired. On the opposite side of the planet. And they speak a different language. And they wouldn't recognise me or my name. Every single one of them would invariably describe me as violent and lazy, just like my parents did. but apparently i need a neurotypical to vouch for my disability in person, and this neurotypical has to be someone who had power over me as a child. Countless referrals from other psychologists do not count. Partners and friends I've known for decades also do not count, and they matter even less if they are also neurodivergent.