this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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It's gotta be the super mario man himself hailing from Georgia, Iosif Stalin.

  1. Wins against the nazis, doesn't elaborate, leaves, USSR becomes the sugar daddy of the eastern bloc

  2. Has a really cool looking moustache. No wonder he gets parodied as Mario

  3. Literally outwitted his enemies by playing the "innocent secretary" and gaining power.

  4. Was highly respected and feared by his enemies

  5. Is still parodied and memes have spread of him by both tankies and non tankies alike

  6. Is in Red Alert 1

  7. Massive troll in pranking the other party members, he would throw bits of fruit into their drinks.

  8. Isn't Hitler.

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[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

After ruling for ten years he was overthrown, had his nose cut off, and was exiled to the Crimea. Suspected of conspiring to return to power, he was summoned back to Constantinople for additional punishment; but instead he escaped to the Russian steppe where he married the sister of the Khazar kaghan. The usurpers bribed the kaghan to extradite his new brother-in-law back to the Byzantines, but Justinian was warned by his Khazar wife and killed the kaghan’s officials sent to arrest him. Then he escaped in a fishing boat to the Balkans, married his daughter to the Bulgar khan, and convinced the khan to lend him an army to defeat the usurpers. So after a ten-year exile he returned to Constantinople at the head of a barbarian army, but the city refused to surrender. Finally he used his knowledge of the city’s infrastructure to crawl in through the sewers, re-took the palace by surprise, and ruled another six years before being killed in a second rebellion.

[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

Holy crap, that is wild. I'm going into a rabbit hole about him, this is great!