Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/23992689

Archive/mirror: https://archive.ph/zoBGi

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Credits to: @mattblaze@federate.social

EDIT: they’ve changed the article’s original title :(

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Snyder v. US is the Republican justices’ latest decision weakening anti-corruption laws.

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Too bad I'm in menopause.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16933715

Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!

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Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick says early one morning in mid-May he woke up and felt something moving in the crotch of his pants. When he reached in, he discovered a rat had given birth there.

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🤦

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Mary Morrissey apologizes after being filmed dumping liquid into backpack of Democratic legislator Jim Carroll

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Some days, those who would ~~command~~ ~~govern~~ represent us just make it too easy for, among other things, finding "post fodder."

In the shadow of Michael William Nash's demonstration of his 2^nd^ Amendment rights on Saturday, according to The News

Twelve Michigan House Republicans have sponsored a bill this month to the name the AR-15 "the official rifle of this state," drawing criticism from opponents who labeled the proposal unserious and inappropriate.

For those who don't know, the AR-15 is a semi-automatic rifle. Bear that in mind when reading the following.

State Rep. Brian BeGole, R-Antrim Township, a former Shiawassee County sheriff, was the primary backer of the AR-15 measure and said in a statement issued Tuesday that thousands of people in Michigan own an AR-15. […] “This distinction recognizes these law-abiding gun owners who are often vilified just for having a firearm as a hobbyist or to keep their homes and families safe," BeGole said.

That's some hobby. Keep their homes and families safe. Safe from the government BeGole has represented most of his life, according to the oft-debated 2^nd^ Amendment.

However, Ryan Bates, director of End Gun Violence Michigan, said BeGole's bill was about "worshiping the rifle that is the preferred weapon of mass shooters." […] Bates noted that on Friday, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a federal ban on bump stocks, a rapid-fire gun accessory that was used in a mass shooting at a music festival Las Vegas in 2017.

"That shooter used 23 AR-style rifles modified with bump stocks to kill 58 people and injure nearly 500 in mere minutes," Bates said. "We now live in a world where any deranged person can turn an AR-style rifle into a machine gun capable of firing 400-800 rounds per minute, a level of firepower that quite simply overwhelms law enforcement."

We all know that rabbit and pheasant can get pretty mean. And who doesn't like their venison pre-ground? To quote my favorite philosopher and thinker, myself

It’s forever High Noon in this nation of cowboys.

Ah, almost forgot! Use it everyday!

Alt link for your convenience via archive.is


If you can't see the crazy person on the bus, it's you.
!detroit@midwest.social!michigan@midwest.social!music@midwest.social

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