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When Voyager gets a mission from Admiral Philip Baker Hall, Harry Kim tracks down the ancient probe on an irradiated planet. But when the away team encounters bagMEN on the surface who give the Vidiians a run for their money, all it takes is some medical treatment and odor eaters to make their planet habitable again. Which adjustment might be too nippular for the costume department? Who has a dolly grip look? How much loaf can the transporter handle? It’s the episode that wants to launch more menacing probes!

When Captain Burnham and the Discovery get assigned a red directive mission, she and Captain Rayner don’t quite sync up. But when Book is called in to help with The Chase, they track down the thieves and learn that this season’s MacGuffin was already opened by Fred. Why don’t more parents register for airline chair? What’s required to rent a shielded dirt bike? Which characters will season 5 be pivoting to full time? It’s the episode that wants a text before you call.

When Voyager starts communicating in real time with the A-Quad, Dr. Mark takes the opportunity to deeply offend his colleagues. But when he’s finally convinced to revise his work, an episode within an episode barely has time to make any good law. Which vessel is ideal for champagne consumption? When is it ok to stop trying to hook new viewers? What does “let me know what you think” actually mean? It’s the episode where the alcohol shoe is on the other foot!

When Galactica is trapped in a Paulson-style nebula, they make a scary as hell jump to get ammunition for the war. But when President Rosalind suggests running instead of fighting the Cylons, Commander Adama is convinced that hope will save what’s left of humanity. Which actor gives two characters for the price of one? What’s the most likely name for a robot child? Who is more Larkin than Larkin himself? It’s the episode that doesn’t want the software update!

When the Enterprise beams some mysterious riders aboard, it’s a less than 5-star rating by the time they reach their destination. But when the ugliest person in the room uses Spock as a meat sack, navigating home is easy but escaping space madness requires the help of a beautiful Doctor. What are the options for fixing a bent wick? Who is Scotty Basic Instinct-ing at dinner? How do you actually assassinate a Medusan? It’s the episode that’s making time for applesauce!

When Galactica is trapped in a Paulson-style nebula, they make a scary as hell jump to get ammunition for the war. But when President Rosalind suggests running instead of fighting the Cylons, Commander Adama is convinced that hope will save what’s left of humanity. Which actor gives two characters for the price of one? What’s the most likely name for a robot child? Who is more Larkin than Larkin himself? It’s the episode that doesn’t want the software update!

When Kirk beams down for a house party on Cestus III, what he finds instead is an aerial bombardment and one very angry outpost survivor. But when the Enterprise gives chase and the Metrons sense violent intent, a broadcast death match is the only suggestion for conflict resolution. Are Spock and McCoy capable of effectively insulting each other? What kind of utensil can you bring to a dinner party? Is bamboo strong enough to make a bazooka out of? It’s the episode that is somewhat diminished by O’Herlihy’s presence.

When Kirk beams down for a house party on Cestus III, what he finds instead is an aerial bombardment and one very angry outpost survivor. But when the Enterprise gives chase and the Metrons sense violent intent, a broadcast death match is the only suggestion for conflict resolution. Are Spock and McCoy capable of effectively insulting each other? What kind of utensil can you bring to a dinner party? Is bamboo strong enough to make a bazooka out of? It’s the episode that is somewhat diminished by O’Herlihy’s presence.

When it’s take your nepo child to work day, the lil’est De Lancie shows up on Voyager. But when Aunt Kathy’s new curriculum doesn’t set the boy straight, continuum-level consequences finally get through to him in the end. How did this episode affect Keegan De Lancie’s career? Is there a Cal Hudson scale for disappointed dad? Who does LeVar Burton need to avoid at a conference? It’s the episode where no one died on a toilet!

When it’s time to make a museum out of the Battlestar Galactica, the ship’s decommissioning ceremony turns into an even busier day for Commander Adama. But when the Cylons magically split the trolly and send it down both tracks, President Rosalind enters into a power struggle with the new leader of the Colonial fleet. What’s the dream move during any argument? Are the Capricans actually Pah-wraith people? How does someone get through TSA with a meat scroll? It’s the episode that’s desperately clinging to the outside of a spaceship!

When a satellite catches Red October in Polijarny inlet, Jack Ryan starts earning Sky Miles faster than he can spend them. But when he upstages the overhead projector guy in a high level briefing, he gets stuck trying to figure out exactly how the Soviet sub captain plans to ‘dump’ his crew. Why is Admiral Greer handcuffed to that creep? Will Seaman Jones find the stealth sub before his antiquated printer gives away their position? How are you supposed to pack when your mission orders are behind two layers of security? It’s a special thank you episode that could potentially save you four hundred billion quarters.

When Seven goes for the record on the holodeck instead of staying at her post, Voyager takes heavy damage and the simulation starts overloading her brains. But when she’s caught in the act by Dr. Mark, he introduces her to the idea of work/life balance but fails to admonish her terrible crimes. What do you get when you pimp the toast? Which slash fiction did this story inspire? How has Star Trek failed men across the decades? It’s the episode where the burlap belies the smash.