I'll give the whole story if anyone wants it
This is an interesting read, even if it is a few years old https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/09/examining-btrfs-linuxs-perpetually-half-finished-filesystem/
I gave up on it in in 2016 and it sounded all the same back then too with too many people giving it a pass for unacceptable behavior. I don't think anything has really changed since.