this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Obviously this is for both, men and women, you know, the song "if I was a rich man" and i saw the meme with...

sigh just answer the question

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[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 hour ago

Live peacefully in a mountain or valley somewhere

[–] iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Two chicks at the same time.

[–] Platypus@lemmings.world 1 points 28 minutes ago
[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

I always wanted to buy up a bunch of section 8 housing and make the really nice. Like, free wifi, gym, day, care, maybe some simple shops on the bottom floor. It would hold events, regular stuff like bingo or what have you, but also job fair/workshops, health talks, etc. I would partner with local business (hell, even big ones), so people living in my property get discounts for food, clothes, etc by showing their apart key or whatever. I wanted to make a really nice living space for people with lower income because they always get the shittest stuff. I wanted people to have a place of pride to come home to, a place safe for them and their families.

My follow up was to buy luxerh condos/apartments for the stupid rich, up the rent, and use the difference to continue funding my stuff, or, if I didn't need it, make a months raffle or something.

[–] Turbofish@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

I'm a drunk with a job. I'd imagine I'd be a drunk without a job for a bit before the first one again.

[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

If I were rich good chance I'll be like any typical rich people. Money corrupts.

[–] __Lost__@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 30 minutes ago

Booking a flight to Epstein Island?

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 5 hours ago

Depends how rich were talking about. A million euros in cash allows lots of confort and I would consider that "rich", but would hardly count that as corrupting money.

[–] Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'd ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 1 points 1 minute ago

All day long?

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 4 points 13 hours ago

SCIENCE! So much science. If I have enough to go around, I'll pay others to do science with me.

So basically, no change from my current life, except I'd be less stressed about money, and therefore much more productive.

[–] MrTHXcertified@programming.dev 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

I would do whatever I feel like doing that day, including but not limited to:

  • Travel
  • Seeing shows
  • Napping
  • Napping while traveling
  • Napping while seeing shows
  • Basically napping
[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I've always had this fantasy of dressing up like a superhero and helping folks out. Like fixing flat tires and small stuff like that. I'd hire a sidekick to do all the heavy lifting while I stood around taking the credit and making silly jokes

[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

I was thinking more along the lines of The Tick, they're not so far apart I suppose

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 15 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

If I were “influence the government” rich I’d probably start an organization designed to facilitate and encourage the spread of cooperatively owned businesses by providing loans to unions to purchase stock in their employers and by loaning money to start cooperatively owned businesses.

I’d also probably lobby the government for more protections of individual rights and environmental protections and more human focused urban development prioritizing shared mass transit and bicycles over cars.

Lifestyle, I’d stick to a middle class life. I don’t need things to be particularly nice to be happy, just more time with the people I love and the ability to partake in community

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

What this person said^

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Pretty much what I do now, but with way more sex.

(I'm disabled so I have lots of free time to game and fuck around on the internet)

[–] That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

If I were so rich that I'd never have to work again, I'd go to law school and become a public defender. I can't become Batman, but I can still help others.

[–] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

I have always thought if I became super rich I would pay for a bunch of people's lawyers to force the government's hand. Essentially the only way our legal system (in the US) "works" is via plea deals. If every case went to trial things would grind to a halt. However, even if a person is innocent they may not have the money to fight the charges or risk the consequences of fighting and losing anyway.

So basically fund defenses until the prosecutors and cops stop being lazy and actually do a justice instead of just a prosecution.

[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Move to a different country

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 5 points 1 day ago

If I was a rich man, the only thing that would really change is the anxiety of losing my job and not being able to pay rent would go away.

[–] gi1242@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

if I was billionaire rich, I would buy companies that provide essential services and make them non profits.

buy useful tech services and convert them to non profits without advertising. e. g. YouTube etc.

lobby to ensure environment protection laws are made to protect the environment and not profits.

stop government subsidies on anything that's bad for the environment. meat. fossil fuels.

[–] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 12 hours ago

I'd use minimal advertising like old school banners but only by ad companies that screen the submitted ads for malicous actors or bad stuff like medicaments (not scientifically proven benefits).

[–] Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago

Buy secluded land and build a prep retreat/bunker just in case. Then take some time, hire a team, and map out a path to first taking over the Democratic party, maybe rebrand, then a path to taking over the government and updating the Constitution.

[–] RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world 71 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Obligatory.

All day long, I'd biddy biddy bum

If I were a wealthy man

You wouldn't have to work hard. You could build a great big house with rooms by the dozen, right in the middle of the town. ...if you were a wealthy man.

[–] NerdyPopRocks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Came here to say this

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[–] hellothere@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hunt other rich men for sport, and have my very expensive team of lawyers keep me out of prison.

[–] Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just become president, problem solved

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Is hunting billionaires an official presidential act? It will be when the Supreme Court gets the checks!

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 52 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I would buy up as many apartments as possible and lower the rent below market value, this driving other landlords to compete. Since they could not maintain a "sustainable" business model with their profit driven mindset, they would sell and I would buy. I would still seek a modest profit, which would be rolled into further acquisitions to further infect the market with sanity. It would be a McDonald's or Walmart approach to housing, positive effect by volume and low margins, but actually provide an undeniably good product.

I would also work with local businesses to offer discounts to residents of the apartments and employees of other businesses that also wish to partner, with the end goal of creating incentive to shop local and increase foot traffic, and therefore profits for those small businesses.

I would find residents who would be interested in starting a business, startup costs covered by my organization, and outcompetes with businesses who do not wish to be our partner. I would endeavor to provide free childcare and animal daycare/boarding. Ideally a pseudo private and free school system could be established to further promote the ideals of the community. Ideally provide free therapy. Ideally offer scholarships to traditional higher education or trade schools. Ideally create a system to help homeless people get back on their feet.

Overall the end goal would be to keep as much money within the local economy and maintain businesses that embody the values which create a healthy local economy, lower the costs of living, and restore the community to a healthy social state.

Or maybe I'll just start a sex cult in the woods.

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think the housing market plan doesn't seem likely to work. The real issue is not that current landlords are exceptionally greedy (the rules of capitalism assume and encourage everyone to be as greedy as possible), it's that there isn't enough housing stock to give everyone who wants one a unit. In economics, housing is more or less a commodity like everything else and thus follows the usual rule of supply and demand, i.e. insufficient supply drives up price until demand tapers down to meet it. If you buy up the city's housing supply and then price them below the equilibrium price, the result will just be that far more people want a place than you will ever have supply for, since you are not actually creating any new housing supply, just buying existing supply from other people.

I would think you'd have more success getting into the property development and construction business, buying up vacant or derelict lots in the city, building them into blocks of flats, and then letting them out on the cheap. You'd also have to hire lobbyists to prod the council to change zoning laws to allow for this development and obtain planning permission. It takes a lot of political maneuvering to make a housing project successful, not only because of legal restrictions, but also because you'll need amenities for your new development. Parking is a big one in the US unless you build a dense mixed-use development which is bureaucratically difficult to get planning permission for, but there's also considerations like whether the nearby bus line can handle the influx of passengers, whether the neighbourhood school can handle a hundred more pupils, whether there's a grocery store nearby, whether the area "feels safe", and so on.

Kind of the reason why State-run public housing schemes are so successful is because they are a government agency that has the power to brute-force the solutions to these problems. Zoning codes? Overruled. Public transit? Ordered. Schools? Built. Private developers don't have the power to do these things and have to beg the council for them instead.

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (9 children)
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[–] Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've been thinking if I could ever afford it, maybe work with section 8 to actually buy the property for the "renter". Sort of a lease to own, except section 8 pays. Once I've gotten my money back plus a small profit the home belongs to the tenant, and I build more housing, rinse and repeat. Would probably need to hire someone to help people manage that though. Some people don't know how to maintain a home because they've always rented or because mental illness or whatever.

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[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 1 points 21 hours ago

It depends how rich

If by rich you mean what a child would consider a lot of money, i dont think i could do much with 100€

If by rich you mean infinite money, i would try to buy all companies and politicians i can, make money worthless in as many countries as i can and attempt to achieve anarcho-posadism or something similar

Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

New car, caviar, four star, daydream

Think I'd buy me a football team

[–] Sybilvane@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Have a child / children. Invest in my community. Help my parents retire. Get another dog. Buy the fancy chocolates. Probably join some sort of workout class for my own health.

[–] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

disappear from radar

do random acts of charity

buy senators and media to support climate change and education

make a competing big cheapo pharma

redirect fame/blame to paid actors

[–] Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

We have this really cool cafe in my city where you can buy buttons when you eat there, like 20 bucks worth, and people who can't afford to buy food can come take six buttons and use them to get a hot meal. I would subsidize the fuck out of it and hopefully open other locations so we could help as many as possible.

[–] Free_Opinions@feddit.uk 5 points 1 day ago

To me "rich" means someone whose passive income exceeds their spending.

So if I was rich I'd stop working and instead pursue my personal interests. Ideally I'd buy a property somewhere remote and close to water with a lot of land and start building a homestead of some sort.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Build a sweet ass house with a wizard's tower.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Im building the Planet Express building from Futurama.

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If I were just a little rich, I would work less, and spend more time traveling.

If I were rich (but not rich-rich) I would retire, move further away from the city, and make my own saw mill. Also spend more time traveling.

If I were rich-rich, I would fund Vasalgel, lobby for that project to make mosquitoes extinct, and fund a few low budget films per year, outside of Hollywood. I don't know where I would move, but I would probably still travel more.

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 day ago

It depends, how rich? Millions? Billions?

I would fix the gym/auditorium at my old high school (the drama club has to share it with all of the sports teams and PE, and all of drama’s stuff gets broken or stolen) so that drama has their own space.

Oh darling, if I had real money, I would use it to sow chaos and undermine the world's financial markets.

But most of all, if I have to live in this bullsh!t cyberpunk reality, we might as well have shadowrunners/Edgerunners/mercs. So I'd recruit as many paramilitary mercenaries as I could find and set them on the task of sabotaging critical corporate infrastructure, kidnapping any oligarchs we could find vulnerabilities for, and doing brazen, overt terrorism kind of stuff.

The idea being if I can cause enough chaos perhaps the people of the world might finally have enough and force change for the ultra wealthy.

[–] Klanky@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Not go to work and sleep for about a year before I figure out what I really want to do.

Edit: move to Finland first.

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