Welcome to c/WouldYouRather, where we present you with the toughest, most ridiculous choices you never knew you had to make! Would you rather have a third arm that's only useful for picking your nose, or be able to talk to animals but only if they're wearing hats? Yeah, it's that kind of vibe. Come for the absurdity, stay because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your life.
Rules:
As much as a vampire girlfriend would be awesome. I don't think my wife would appreciate it.
She would, however, appreciate stealing my lifetime supply of garlic bread.
.... Unless by picking vampire gf, it turns her into a vampire. But I don't think that's what the question is asking.
Garlic Bread
Oh garlic bread, definitely.
I like the implication that this is a real cause-effect choice.
My wife is asexual. I believe I'm legally required to provide them garlic bread as the primary bread winner of the marriage. Sorry vampire girlfriend. 💔💋
I like how my brain made the connection of "asexual = garlic bread" before the connection of wife and another girlfriend lol
("the holy garlic bread provider, otherwise known as, my pardner")
Garlic bread for sure
Only in America.
I was forced to see that movie and I don't understand a thing about it
Right okay so I think it's loosely based on some comic books of a similar nature and the story is thus:
The setting is similar to reality but very metaphorical and surreal, with game-like events happening often.
Scott Pilgrim is some lonely dude in his 20s with no career and his band has some gigs lined up to play at. While out and about he sometimes (often) runs into a girl who cusses him out regularly because when he was in high school he fought a bunch of guys to save a girl but then immediately broke it off as he moved to the city and she moved to the city after him but he still doesn't want to pursue a relationship so now she's bitter and angry about it. This seems pretty unrelated to the overarcing narrative but it highlights important things about Scott: he can fight a lot of dudes consecutively and he has serious issues about how he views life and progress. Later, he meets a girl with blue hair and tries to hook up with her but he loses sight of her. Since he knows she works as a delivery person he orders stuff online one item at a time until she shows up (depending on the comic, movie, and animation what she delivers and which company she works for is different). She agrees to go on a date with him and so he does. She asks if he had to fight a lot of dudes, which confuses him, but she presses for an answer and he says yeah he had to fight a hundred dudes and the last dude he had to kick so hard he saw the curvature of the earth. Which was a lie. This becomes important because the girl has 7 evil exes that anybody new she dates has to fight before she can continue seeing them. So he fights those people and learns to appreciate himself and he dates the girl, the end. Except the original ending for the film was that he dates the girl in his band after learning to appreciate himself as a revelation during the struggle with the 7th ex, but it scored poorly with test audiences. If the comics are followed then Scott loses the girl at the end, but then dates the girl in his band as a form of coping with his loneliness and insecurity, but in the comics that girl is explicitly underaged and therefor Scott Pilgrim is a pedophile.
Okay hope that clears everything up for you.
I think it’s loosely based on some comic books of a similar nature
Yes, the movie is Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, based on the comic Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. 😆
To all the people choosing the garlic bread, have you considered the vampire girlfriend might be able to make you immortal by making you a vampire?
Of course being immortal sounds like it would massively suck, garlic bread all the way!
That's what I came to ask! If she can make me immortal, well, sleep all day, party all night, never grow old, never die, it's fun to be a vampire.
But as a vampire, no more garlic bread
Immortal but some conditions apply is worth living. Immortal no conditions apply is hell. When we get bored and wanna die we can just walk into the sun or make garlic bread and die happy together.
In short, vampire gf all the way
Easy. Garlic bread.
Already got a wife who loves me. And if she were to pass away, I have a lifetime supply of garlic bread. What sane woman wouldn’t want access to that?
A lifetime supply of dates with garlic bread loving ladies!
But what if they only love you for your infinite garlic bread? You'd never find true love again.
That’s true, though I have to believe garlic bread lovers would never do that. Garlic has special powers.
I can make garlic bread, but would that drive away my new vampire girlfriend?
That vampires hate garlic is a myth put forth by big suck to have us season ourselves. Source: Thor
That's a relief! I like being delicious
Maybe that's why the choices are mutually exclusive...
a vampire gf that will suck your blood from the veins in your cock during blowjob
This flops the cock
That's incredibly specific , but I dont kink shame.
No part of this deal says we'd be compatible or stay together, so I'd have to choose the lifetime bread.
Garlic bread, I've never had a girlfriend before I have had bread before, I'll go with what I know.
Vampire gf. I can still acquire garlic bread, just let her know when I'm gonna be garlicky so she can make other plans. Communication y'all
Bread. Why would I have a vampire girlfriend? So she can suck me dry? 🪇
Find a better vampire girlfriend, that one dies to some dude who randomly hates on chairs