this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
353 points (89.5% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35866 readers
1632 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] inv3r510n@lemmy.world 7 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Because queerness (trans, gender non conforming, gender fluid, agender, bigender and related) threatens hierarchy.

In western society regardless of how ‘progressive’ some parts of it have gotten, for the majority there’s still a strict hierarchy. Man most important, then woman, then children first boys then girls. Trans people completely disrupt this hierarchy by being able to change what they are and those who cling to hierarchy freak the fuck out over it.

Then there’s the sexual panic, a straight man who’s insecure is gonna freak out if the woman they think is cute actually has a penis.

[–] Steak@lemmy.ca -1 points 24 minutes ago

Fine just down vote me don't respond at all. Fucking loser.

[–] Steak@lemmy.ca -2 points 39 minutes ago

I don't agree. For ages in any life or death situation it is woman and children first. Men are the strongest of the bunch, any respectable man is putting his children and wife onto a lifeboat before themselves. You'd have a hard time finding a father/husband who wouldn't.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 17 points 2 hours ago

They’re an easy minority to scapegoat. In the US they make up between 0.5% and 1.6% of the population. A sizable portion of straight people associate being transgender as something sick and weird and a sexual deviancy, so it’s easy to target them and to try to associate them with actual objectively bad things (ie pedophilia). They’re just people trying to find their place in the world and live their lives, same as most of us.

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 hour ago

Among the many factors, I think that we shouldn't lose sights on the fact that statistically there is a percentage of any population who has no "normal" sexual orientation. This means that there a percentage of conservative/religious fundamentalists who are non-heterosexual CIS in the closet, who fight against sexual diversity to defend their chosen belief structure. There cannot be queers, thus they are an abomination that must be stamped out.

[–] auzy@lemmy.world 13 points 8 hours ago

We have a lot of LGBTI people in our climbing group

I have never had an issue with any of them

But the people trying to be hyper masculine? Yep..

I feel like it's because they never left high school. A lot of them are simply trying the same thing that worked when they are a kid. Everyone else grows up

[–] goldenlocks@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I support trans people to do whatever they want to themselves but unfortunately one did shoot up a school https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2023_Nashville_school_shooting

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

With trans people making up 0.5-1.6% of the US population, wouldn't it be strange if not a single school shooter was trans?

That question lead me down a rabbit hole: There have been 417 school shootings since Columbine in 1999 https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/interactive/school-shootings-database/

I don't have statistics on the number of school shootings perpetrated by multiple people. But I suspect that it's a miniscule number. So I'm going to go with 417 individuals carrying out acts counted as school shootings. And not to try to be John Oliver or something, but what counts as a school shooting may be as little as this numbnuts who shot them self in the leg in a high school parking lot https://www.wptv.com/news/region-the-glades/belle-glade/lockdown-lifted-at-glades-central-high-school-following-shooting.

0.5% of 417 is 2.1 and 1.6% is 6.7.

Meaning that somewhere between 2 and 7 trans school shooters would indicate that trans people are just as likely as cis people to carry out school shootings. That only a single shooter has been trans, may not be statistically significant, as we're dealing with integers and it's pretty darn close.

So I'm left to conclude that being trans isn't significant in being a school shooter. Trans people may just be as fucked up as the rest of us.

What I'm more interested in is how the trans man in Nashville in 2023 would have counted, if this statistic didn't only cover until 2022 https://www.statista.com/statistics/1463155/active-shooters-us-schools-by-gender/

[–] OwenEverbinde@lemmy.myserv.one 46 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (3 children)

Materialist answer (inspired by a video called Why The Political Compass is Wrong: Establishing An Accurate Model of Political Ideology, by breadtuber Halim Alrah... and also Jane Elliott's famous experiment)

Business owner makes money by paying workers to produce widgets at $6 / unit. Owner sells these widgets at $10 / unit, making a $4 profit each sale.

Before long, the workers catch on to the reality of the situation: the owner could be making a lot less and still be able to provide "leadership" (or whatever it is he provides). They decide not to work for less than... $8 per unit. With this price, the owner will still be wealthy (the business makes hundreds of widgets, after all). But now, so will the workers.

So the workers save up money and use it to go on strike.

However: business owner comes up with a better solution to the problem: he divides the workers into brown-eyed workers and blue-eyed workers. He then uses his money to discriminate against the brown-eyed workers. His cronies in government make it legal to deny brown-eyed workers jobs and housing. His cronies in the media write hysterical anecdotal stories about various brown-eyed rapists, thieves, and murderers.

Terrified mobs -- stoked into a frenzy by the business owner's well-funded propaganda -- tear down brown-eyed people's homes and food supplies, leaving them destitute before the strike is done.

The brown-eyed workers now must choose between returning to work for the business owner at $5 / unit... or starving to death.

The blue-eyed workers, meanwhile, have just been tricked into betraying their own team. Some were not tricked, but simply unprepared. These unprepared workers stood by in either shock, uncertainty, or laziness, unable to comprehend how their fellow blue-eyed workers could have become so foolishly self-defeating and cruel.

But now the business owner can put up the illusion of no longer needing the blue-eyed workers. He can run his factory on a skeleton crew of desperate, brown-eyed workers, and say to the blue, "uh oh! Looks like the brown-eyed workers just stole your jobs!"

Much like the brown-eyed workers, the blue-eyed workers have a restricted set of choices: A) admit they were suckers --fooled into attacking their own team -- and try to apologize and rebuild their union, B) double down and blame brown-eyed people for undercutting them... but reluctantly return to work, because the strike is broken, or C) just like the brown-eyed workers, they can choose to starve to death.

(A) will be the most difficult. As Mark Twain said: "it's easier to fool people than convince them they have been fooled."

The business owner wins, and now society has an eye-color-discrimination problem. Eye color was an arbitrary characteristic. Yet now it decides where someone lives, who they spend time with, and what kinds of opportunities they have access to.

The business owner can rinse and repeat for: skin tone, religion, country of origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. As the saying goes,

"Divide and conquer."

You asked why trans people are currently the subject of fear and hysteria? No reason. Not any new reason at least. Trans people are different. Any and every difference between workers is an opportunity for those fatcats rich enough to own "The Daily Mail" and the "The New York Post" to separate us into camps and drain us dry, one camp at a time.

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 hour ago

I find this disingenuous, infantilizing. Racial discrimination and warring has been happening since the beginning of (recorded) time. It stems, among many, many other things (this thing is incredibly complex), from the fear of the other's "unknowns", a somewhat justified fear of others, given humanity's penchant for conquering the neighbors. Another factor is the use of each own's feeling of superiority over the other's, to cover for one's underlying fear of inferiority in some way. Take the example (one of many, not singling out here) of the Jews assertion that they are god's chosen people, thus everyone else being inferior.

While divide and conquer has been used since the dawn of time, and adapted by the capitalists, the sad and simple fact is that people fear that which doesn't conform to their comfortable life scheme, that people want certainty, and having a "different" is unsettling for many, and demonization is an easy way to prop one's belief structure. People who exchange critical thinking for a "safe" belief structure, find it threatening to have others challenge that, so they fight back, to try to have that attack defeated. This can be exploited by others, to rally against that perceived common enemy. Wave a flag, and all who have a common belief of that flag representing their values will rally.

People don't want to think, and/or challenge their beliefs. It's a comfort thing.

[–] KaTaRaNaGa@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] habitualcynic@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Incredible answer! I saved this with my running list of great quotes and passages.

[–] PagingDoctorLove@lemmy.world 18 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Their systems of power rely on having an "in" group and an "out" group. Overt racism is less acceptable these days because now there are brown Republicans, but transphobia? Very in.

They're just choosing a new group to "other" so that we don't realize they're coming for everyone who doesn't fit into their narrow worldview.

[–] beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

There are a lot of factors at play that make transness an easy target to be the scary other bigots rally around.

The simple truth is that unless you yourself are trans you cannot understand the trans experience. There is no way to explain the scope or impact it has on someone's life. It's automatically alien and provides essentially a permanent out group. Anyone who is uncomfortable with people who are different or that have different experiences than themselves are almost certainly transphobic to some degree. Right now to the best of my knowledge transphobia is the only thing all hate groups share.

Trans people are the current scapegoats because prior to the pandemic we had an explosion of trans people feeling safe enough to come out online (I blame Obama making us all feel safe). They are particularly effective because both white nationalists and evangelicals use queerness as a scapegoat all the time anyway so it was easy for them to rally around. Which is why conservative politicians fearmonger around trans people.

It's not that simple, but it's close enough for a lemmy comment.

[–] inv3r510n@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

I’m a queer gender non conforming lesbian who grew up in the 90s and was horrifically violently assaulted for it on the regular by bullies that school authorities never gave a shit about.

I remember the Obama years. I remember back then not trusting the “acceptance”. I never thought it was genuine and to this day I still don’t. I feel bad for those who thought we made real progress. It was always an illusion.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 18 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
  1. People fear new unknown things (as perceived by the individual), especially when it comes to bodies and human form, instinctively.

  2. It doesn't conform to their strict societal standards as crafted by thousands of years of culture and history. The authorities have always persecuted and cracked down on anything that threatens the patriarchal standard.

  3. Minorities make the easiest targets. Trans people are an extreme minority.

  4. Some people think it has more to do with sexuality and sexual urges, so their perception is that it is perversion.

[–] UnculturedSwine@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

Projection is also a common way for people to deflect blame for societal ills. Religious zealots will ignore and even shield sexual abusers present in their own institutions and divert that animosity to outside groups that make convenient targets. They are ok with the abusers within their walls because they are seeking absolution through religious systems. They are not ok with queer people because they need to scapegoat a group to explain why things don't seem to be getting better.

[–] Kalysta@lemm.ee 33 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Conservatives come in two types. The rich ones who want more and more money. And the poor ones who also want more money but are unable to obtain it because the rich hoard money.

The rich conservatives need to stop the poor conservatives from realizing the rich are why the poor can’t get money. So they make up vulnerable groups to blame for the poor’s problem, and the poor are generally too poorly educated to catch on to this game.

Different groups have been the scapegoat. Women, blacks, the italians, the irish, asians, gays, and now it’s transgender people.

The good news is transgender people WILL get full rights in about 20-30 years if you look at historical cycles. The bad news is it will be a fight and many will die before they get treated as human beings by these asshole conservatives.

[–] unconsciousvoidling@sh.itjust.works 9 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I think earth’s current environment is going to collapse in 20-30 years.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 5 points 18 hours ago

True egalitarianism

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 28 points 19 hours ago

They are just propagandized. In general, it's so much like racists - they may know trans people and just think they are the exceptions, like them as individuals and still think they hate them as a group. They are intentionally riled up by being forced fed edge cases and disinformation.

Trans people are just people. They aren't angels who are never criminals and they aren't degenerates who are always criminal, they are a diverse group like all of us are. But you can bet your ass that whenever a trans person does something criminal it will be blown up so big in conservative media and used to paint them all as criminals. It's just the right wing media machine.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago

In a less direct way one standing theory is that it’s tied to cultural issues with gender relations and due to the lack of a cultural role for us (at least in cultures where that applies or where those roles were damaged during colonialism, which was very common). Then there’s also the oversexualization of trans people.

For the first one Julia Serrano does a good job going into a lot of detail for a big chunk of it, but the quick summary is that there’s two axes of sexism: traditional (one sex and that which is associated is better than the other, traditionally prioritizing the masculine over the feminine) and oppositional (that that which is associated is deeply connected and immutable). All sorts of people run up against oppositional sexism, from cis gay people to dudes who like to sew. But it’s likely necessary to reinforce traditional sexism.

Then there’s the lack of cultural space. It’s being built, but it isn’t done yet and until it’s been uncontroversial for some time it’ll be at risk. It’s the issues of “I don’t know how to treat them” and “it’s against god”. It’s people angry that their understanding of one of the most vital parts of their culture is being called to make space for something that’s new to them

Then there’s the oversexualization. Trans people all throughout the world have a long history of resorting to sex work to survive. That means that to many people our existence is seen as inherently sexual. I grew up where trans people only appeared on tv as tragic sex workers, jokes of erotic disgust, or Springer style freak shows, and the next closest depictions were as murderous erotic crossdressers (which many saw as the same thing). And so now here I am, one of them, demanding you treat me as an educated professional and a peer and a decent chunk of bigots will see my face as inherently pornographic and therefore unfit to display around children. They hear about teenagers wanting to transition and think of it as sexualizing them. And for a certain portion of people they’re mad that a porn category and type of exotic hooker is demanding rights

There’s more, and I didn’t say it all the best I could (typed it out off and on over a while between doing things as well as it being something I mostly break down in discussions with other trans people). But yeah, we’re different and we challenge basic understandings of some of the foundations of society and culture, but our liberation helps break down the issues you’re already facing and a lot of the time the requests we’re making make life easier for cis people once y’all get used to us being around.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 24 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (2 children)

How to say it delicately.. Many conservative/religious men really, truly want to just impale their throats on lady dick, but they are indoctrinated from birth to believe that a zombie from space (who they agree watches them shower and have sex) will be mad at them if they do what makes them happy. So to distract themselves from that always burning urge to ravenously aspirate dong nog, they performatively hate things as a hobby to pass the time until they die - profoundly alone and completely unhappy (see Lindsey Graham)

And then the conservative women are taught that they are stupid, useless furniture pieces there to look pretty and parrot - not capable of an opinion outside of the one provided by their husband or father.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

I never heard of one shooting up a school church or whatever.

First off, one must be very careful of generalizing to an entire group from the actions of a small sample [1]. Using the metric of whether there have been trans people who have engaged in mass shootings is quite reductionist, and is a faulty generalization — if I am to interpret what you said to mean that "conservatives" are "against" all trans people because they think that they are all responsible for "shooting up" schools and churches. Second, to address your belief, to my knowledge, there has been at least one instance of a school shooter being trans [2].

References

  1. "Faulty Generalization". Wikipedia. Published: 2024-03-25T17:50Z. Accessed: 2024-11-23T02:49Z. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faulty_generalization
  2. "2023 Nashville school shooting". Wikipedia. Published: 2024-10-28T23:08Z. Accessed: 2024-11-23T02:51Z. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2023_Nashville_school_shooting.
[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 10 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Because hateful people always need an other. an outsider. Someone be fearful of, yet feel smugly superior too

It used to be black people.

then it was the irish and the itallians.

then it was hispanics.

then it was gays

and now its trans people.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 85 points 1 day ago (1 children)

For a simple example: my mother is Catholic and until Trump came along, a lifelong single-issue Republican voter who always said she would be a Democrat if it weren't for abortion. She attends church in an extremely progressive, famously LGBTQ-friendly town.

There's a transwoman who attends her church (let's call her Rita). This lady is probably in her mid-50s to mid-60s and has been a fixture at the church for at least 5 years. My mom has been in choir and bible study groups with her for years now. She still just can't see Rita as a woman. Treats her politely but behind her back refuses to call her "she" and says she's a "man in a dress".

She's really offended that Rita uses the ladies' room. I've asked her why and she can't articulate it, she just feels like it's an invasion of her privacy, because men don't belong in the ladies' room. And when I point out that Rita isn't a man, she just rolls her eyes. I've asked her if she's worried that Rita is in there for predatory purposes and she admits that she doesn't think Rita intends any harm. I've asked her how she'd feel if she were forced to use the men's room and she says "but that's different!"

My mom prides herself in being a moral person, and still can't manage to get past her bigotry to see Rita as a woman. There are just too many mental blockades against it. But since she thinks she's so highly moral, she thinks she must be correct in this situation. It excuses her from finding empathy and bettering her attitude toward trans folks.

My longwinded point is that when people who consider themselves highly moral are bigoted, there's almost zero chance of getting through to them. And I think a lot of the people who are bigoted against trans folks feel that morality is on their side and being trans is morally deviant, so they think they're justified in their prejudice.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Fascists are cowards who attack the most vulnerable people as a standard tactic.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

And after they exterminate one group, they move onto another

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

You all are overthinking it way too much.

Most people hate anything that's different or uncommon to themselves and their "world".

Simple as that.

It's heterophobia in the semantic sense of the word "fear of anything that's different".

[–] __Lost__@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 22 hours ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 33 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Far simpler than whateveryone else is saying. The best way to rally humans to your side is to give them a common enemy. So conservative politicians picked enemies that are small in number and told everyone how they are to blame for all that is wrong in the world.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] NeoToasty@kbin.melroy.org 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago (5 children)

There are plenty of atheist transphobes.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] piccolo@sh.itjust.works 7 points 18 hours ago (3 children)
[–] heraplem@leminal.space 4 points 18 hours ago

Even trans people aren't beating the "nearly all mass shooters are men" statistic.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 12 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Sorted by controversial, wish me luck boys!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mightyfoolish@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

From what I have seen, it seems trans and gay people are used as a "bar." Since these people aren't inclined to be gay or trans they believe themselves to be above the bar they have set. Racism works the same way.

They tried to put their religion into politics and it backfired; now their religion is just random politics with a few supernatural beliefs that do not effect their day to day actions.

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 51 points 1 day ago (9 children)

I'm a southerner. Take what I'm about to tell you as close to the grain of the problem as possible, because it is.

Here's the thing. 9 times out of 10, a Southern man is going to meet a lone trans or gay person, have a pleasant experience talking to them and go about their day, they even make friends with the person, spend years talking to them, send gifts, become family members, etc.

But you know what?

Behind closed doors, it's "fuck those trannies", "not in my schools", etc. My mom does it, her sister does it, my dad did it. It's hypocrisy at an extreme level while also ignoring it at an extreme level.

"Well I have gay friends... I'm not homowhatzit"

THEY'RE TEACHING WHAT!?

"Double Standard" might as well be the tagline for the entire South. They'll protect their religion and the expectations put on them by their parents and social norms on a general level across the board, while still shaking hands and eating cake with their lgbtq+ buddies.

Just remember any southerner is one thought from God away from stabbing you in the back at all times, because no matter how close you get to them, even as a family member, that book and the expectations behind it means more, was beat into them more, every day since they were born until you met them.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 1 points 30 minutes ago* (last edited 30 minutes ago)

100%

My mom went to an integrated school in the South, made friends... but sometimes overheard racist slurs and threats behind closed doors. Same story with family I have now, all pleasent in public, friends with some gay family members. But vehemently anti-vaccine and such behind closed doors... I have horrible stories I can't even repeat.

The duality is unreal.

A question is where that behind-doors comes from... a lot is from church. Church like you've never seen if you haven't been to the South.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago

They have to have somebody to hate so they don't hate themselves so much.

[–] slumlordthanatos@lemmy.world 110 points 1 day ago (7 children)

As someone who grew up in a conservative household in a deep red state, I think that part of it is that a lot of people are letting Lizard Brain dictate their response to transgender people.

Let me give you a personal example. A while back, I went to a social dance, and there was a trans woman there. Before the dance starts proper, the couple that runs it will teach a dance lesson, and we rotate partners while that's going on. Eventually, I was rotated into being her partner. For some background, she was obviously early on in her transition; she still looked like a dude in a dress, she didn't quite have the appearance down yet. But she gets huge props for not only having the bravery to go out as herself, but doing it in fucking Arkansas.

So I rotate over to her, and it dawns on me that she's trans. In my head, Lizard Brain immediately starts screaming. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! THIS PERSON IS OBVIOUSLY A DUDE IN A DRESS, HE MUST BE UP TO SOMETHING IF HE'S DRESSING AS SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT HE IS! RABBLERABBLERABBLERABBLERABBLE"

Keep in mind, where I grew up, you just didn't see trans people, and even now, it still tickles that primal part of my brain that was trained to be uncomfortable around people who aren't white and straight.

The difference between me and many of the people I grew up around is that I recognize that it's happening and try to tone Lizard Brain out when it starts screaming. A lot of other people listen to it and don't care that the person that it's screaming about is exactly that: a person.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think it's most people. I (choose to) believe that's a loud minority.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›