I don't care if it's fake, it's funny in a cartoon violence kinda way.
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
625 points (95.8% liked)
Greentext
4454 readers
971 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
This is why beans on toast is a thing.
Putting beans in the green texts now smh
Anon is in a riot.
Anon is in a reoccurring movie bit.
Anon attempts manslaughter with dad.
Anons dad comes back from the store.
Anon eats all the hurricane food before the hurricane.
Moment le Florida Man
Fake: Anon doesn't have a dad
Gay : Anon didn't hit~on~ a woman
Why didn’t this woman just take the can of beans instead of the bread?
In my experience society regrettably values bread over beans. I can't talk about it or else I'm gonna start crying.
Beans are sad emergency food.
If I'm in a situation where beans are necessary, I'm awfully desperate and out of options.
Emergency situation: you're in the UK, it's breakfast and you need something to put on your toast.
You're in the UK
The worst kind of emergency.
There's no such thing as a "UK." Oh sure, there's this island full of TERFs next to Europe that does things like eat "beans on toast" and where if you say the word "tiddlywinks" in a court of law you're taken seriously instead of laughed out of the place. Get real, Britain was made up by Scholastic to sell books to third graders.
I am hurt and am formally rescinding my open invitation to join me for burrito or chilli night for you
load more comments
(2 replies)
Because then she would have no toast for them.
Britain doesn't get hurricanes
load more comments
(1 replies)
Everyone always laughs at hitting someone in the head with a punch/can of beans/baseball bat/2x4/karate chop/whatever and knock them out. The joke being that the person will wake in ten minutes or an hour like in the movies and they'll go about living again.
In real life if you knock someone out cold with some kind of hit to their head ... you've more than likely killed them or put them in a place where they will die within the next hour or two.
That is... Incorrect, there is about a 30% death rate within one year of brain trauma but there is absolutely no data showing that someone is going to die within an hour of being knocked unconscious more often than not, especially if they are young
load more comments
(26 replies)
Being knocked out is certainly not good, but it's not automatic death like you're suggesting.
load more comments
(2 replies)
False LMFAO.
Source: semi pro snowboarder who’s been knocked out many times
Being knocked out is literally one step before dead and can have serious aftereffects like parts of your swollen brain dying because there's too less space for a swollen brain in your skull.
I too was once knocked out as a child and barfed 3 days afterwards with memory loss.
Take care of yourself.
It is not one step before death. Holy shit are you being dramatic.
I had a TBI as a result of a double impact - minor concussion where I didn’t pass out skateboarding (and didn’t know it), then the next day friendly fire collision with a friend in the park snowboarding. I was knocked out for five minutes, had an out of body experience, came to very aggressively with a permanent change of personality that persists to this day half a lifetime later. That being said I was nowhere near death, had a I been knocked out into a coma things would be different.
TBIs are nothing to mess with, they change you for life. ADHD like symptoms, mental health struggles, aggression and explosive anger, memory loss, gaslighting from medical professionals about the severity of the injury (the 2000s were rough…) and opening yourself up to abuse by future significant others because you don’t trust your own memory. Never mind the struggle to maintain employment or how TBIs are invisible disabilities that are tough to get workplace accommodations for.
TBIs are serious, even when they are ‘mild’ (a complete misnomer). But being knocked out ≠ being knocked into a coma which is one step from death. Nor does it mean you’re having a brain bleed. Your brain is inflamed and it’s key not to impact it again for a ~month while the inflammation recedes. Because I had a double impact I ended up permanently damaged. I worry about CTE and dementia later in life as I’ve had other hits to the head since, including getting knocked out momentarily while riding for work.
FYI in case anyone asks - yes I wear a helmet and was wearing one the day of my TBI. Helmets don’t prevent concussions at all, they prevent skull fractures, punctures and lacerations. The helmet saved my life because it prevented skull fracture but more importantly laceration, as my friend collided into my head with the edge of her board first.
I agree it's not one step before death, but as you elaborated, what it effectively is, is brain damage, which is always something that needs to be taken seriously. I.e. if someone is knocked-out, it's not something that can be ignored as in "ha ha, they'll be ok in a couple of minutes"
load more comments
(6 replies)
You're actually dead and died in that second knock out .... this is purgatory and you'll be commenting like this for a few thousand years.
I'm no scientist, doctor or medical professional ... I just know that its dangerous to try to knock someone's noggin really hard to try to make them pass out. Dangerous to the point that there is a good chance that it can kill someone.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
~~Skill~~ Skull issue
To market, to market went my Uncle Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him.
Tomatoes are soft and they won't bruise the skin,
But this one killed Jim, it was wrapped in a tin.
And even if you haven't killed them outright, they can have permanent disabilities.
If you, or someone you know, gets knocked out, or experiences other symptoms of a central nervous system trauma after a hit to the head, please seek medical care immediately. It's not one those "take two aspirin and let's see how it goes in the morning" kinda things.
I'm just one person, but during my life I've seen this multiple times. I will refrain from boring you, and doxxing myself, by telling my anecdotes. Suffice it to say that I have known people who would have been dead if they hadn't gone to work with a "bad hangover", or ended up with narcolepsy or chronic encephalopathy. And that was separate people BTW.
You're going too far in the opposite direction
load more comments
(8 replies)
Woulda had beans on toast, but they lost the can of beans.
view more: next ›