this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
466 points (95.2% liked)

Greentext

4454 readers
928 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 257 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (12 children)

Guys, please dip your balls in soy sauce or whatever if you can't help yourself but I'm quite sure that it won't work. I know that this is the green text community but still:

*Receptors on different parts of the body do different things. The taste buds on your tongue respond to whether or not food is edible—and of course, provide taste—while the taste buds on your testicles instead send signals to your body about sperm and testosterone production.

And the scrotum does not have "taste buds,” to be clear. “It’s also important to note that the taste receptors are in your testicles," adds Justin Dubin, a current Urology Resident at the University of Miami and soon to be Northwestern University fellow specializing in male infertility and sexual medicine. "When you dip your balls in food or sauces, you’re actually only exposing your scrotum to the food ... which is the skin surrounding and protecting your testicles."

In addition to your scrotal skin, you have other layers of tissue that separate your testicles from the outside world, so it is safe to say putting food or any other item on your scrotum won't get you anywhere close to direct contact with the actual testicle.

“Even if you were able to somehow put food on your actual testicle, which I recommend never trying, the taste receptors would not allow you to taste anything as they simply do not function the same way they do in your mouth and you would not experience the sensation of taste,” Dubin adds.

You probably wouldn't want to experience taste from your testicles, anyway. If this were the case, as Brahmbhatt points out, you’d constantly "taste" the smell of your scrotum and testicles—even sperm. Yuck.

“Obviously this does not happen—further dispelling the myth that has been propagated,” he says.*

-Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, MC, urologic and robotic surgeon.

I am not sure whether this article was solely published in Men's Health but here's the article:

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a36751724/do-testicles-have-taste-buds/

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 79 points 1 month ago

Half-truths are the most effective troll posts.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You probably wouldn’t want to experience taste from your testicles, anyway. If this were the case, as Brahmbhatt points out, you’d constantly “taste” the smell of your scrotum and testicles—even sperm. Yuck.

Anon's mom told me that it's actually not so bad.

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So the balls are constantly tasting cum? That's fucking gay, bro.

[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's nothing gayer than being a man. You always have a dick in close proximity and the only way to get off is playing with that dick. That's super gay.

Straight trans men are the only straight men!

[–] florge@feddit.uk 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is a robotic surgeon someone who operates on robots?

[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

No, it's just a surgeon who lacks personality and operates with cold detachment.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

https://academic.oup.com/molehr/article/19/6/349/1061673

^Basically says the same thing but in extreme detail.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 158 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If you think that's mad, your balls can taste spice! You can test this yourself by pouring hot sauce all over your genitals.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago

For uncut dudes, make sure you pull the foreskin all the way back. You gotta hit that mucus membrane with some capsaicin.

[–] SirHery@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago
[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that why bengay tastes like balls?

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, his balls just tasted like bengay and you developed a learned association.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 78 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Alright, I just dipped my balls in a bowl of cordial, so you don't have to.

My sack didn't detect any sweetness, but I'm sure if someone sucked on them, then they would.

[–] yournamehere@lemm.ee 18 points 1 month ago
[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't leave us hanging OP, get down there.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 74 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The fact I have never tasted the dreaded bowl splash dispels this myth.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Maybe your toilet water is not sweet enough

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm 6 points 1 month ago

Just get diabetes then.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] awwwyissss@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago

Poseidon's Kiss, a sneaky surprise for the carefree pooper

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 58 points 1 month ago (7 children)
[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 17 points 1 month ago

Jfc I thought everyone was just shitposting here but this is a real what the fuck moment

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm sitting here with explosive diarrhoea and this would be somewhat worse if my balls could taste.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You realize you're supposed to take your underwear off before using the toilet, right?

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (19 children)

I do, yes. Did you miss the "explosive" part?

load more comments (19 replies)
[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TheIvoryTower@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It might have just been chance, you better replicate it to check.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Don't get cocktea on me. I done made scrotonade.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Reminds me of that South Park episode where Cartman proves you can eat from your ass and shit from your mouth.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Prehistoric dangling diabetes detectors

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Actually I read it but I just didn't understand.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why else would it be called teabagging?

Thats how you're supposed to check if your tea has been sweetened properly before consumption

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] elvith 21 points 1 month ago

So that's why everything tastes like dick all the time...

[–] TastyWheat@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

1980: in the future, we'll have flying cars! 2024: Stop dipping your balls in soy sauce you fucking idiots

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 19 points 1 month ago

Someone please call the science memes community! Misinformation is winning against me!!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 14 points 1 month ago

The treat that's salty and sweet!

[–] superkret 10 points 1 month ago

The testis taste test.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Sounds like a load of bollocks to me

[–] BeatTakeshi@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

My honeymoon could have gotten quite a twist

[–] ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 7 points 1 month ago

Teabag on teabag anyone?

load more comments
view more: next ›