Fuck AI

I asked Claude to re-write the beginning of Ulysses at a 5th grade level:

Buck Mulligan, a big man, came up the stairs. He was carrying a bowl with shaving cream, a mirror, and a razor. He wore a yellow robe that wasn't tied. He held up the bowl and said some words in Latin.

He stopped and called down the stairs: "Come up, Kinch! Come up, you scared priest!"

Buck went to the edge of the tower. He turned around and made blessing motions three times towards the tower, the land, and the mountains. Then he saw Stephen Dedalus. Buck made quick crosses in the air and shook his head at Stephen. Stephen didn't like this. He was tired and put his arms on the stairs, looking at Buck's face and hair.

Buck looked under the mirror quickly and then covered the bowl. "Back to work!" he said seriously. He added in a funny voice: "This is the real thing, friends. Body and soul and blood. Slow music, please. Close your eyes, guys. One moment. A little problem with those white blood cells. Quiet, everyone."

He whistled long and slow, then waited. His white teeth had some gold in them. Two loud whistles answered back. "Thanks, buddy," he said quickly. "That's good. Turn off the power, will you?" He jumped down and looked at Stephen. His face looked like an important church person from long ago. He smiled. "What a joke!" he said happily. "Your funny name is from ancient Greek!" He pointed at Stephen in a friendly way and went to the edge, laughing. Stephen followed him halfway and sat down, watching as Buck set up his mirror and started to shave.