this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2024
437 points (99.3% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6651 readers
843 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 79 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Man, there’s something about the color balance and lighting that just screams Monty Python sketch to me.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 31 points 3 months ago

It looks like a colorized classic sitcom.

[–] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I though it was a C&C red alert screenshot.

[–] BaroqueInMind@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

God damn it some necromancer needs to resurrect Westwood from death to get off their asses and make a new Tiberium Sun, Red Alert, and most importantly a new C&C Generals.

You actually cannot purchase C&C Generals, even if you wanted to. And no way to play multiplayer either if you pirated it.

[–] stephan262@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

You can get all the classic C&Cs on Steam and you can play a good chunk of them online using CNC online. I agree though, we need a new C&C Generals.

[–] Hupf 7 points 3 months ago

Tactical background

[–] gigachad@sh.itjust.works 75 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

This is General major Freuding in the official Bundeswehr channel. This guy is a machine, it's really interesting listening to his analyses. One of the top comments says something like "Kremlin is watching this rn to understand what the fuck is going on in Kursk"

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I would be 0% surprised if someone there copies Germans off of YouTube for their official reports. More time to get hammered, am I right?

[–] primrosepathspeedrun@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

it's not like they learned how to write reports; russian education has been shit for a few years now, hasn't it?

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Feuding is a great name for a general

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 2 points 3 months ago

His analysis is looking spot on.

[–] kn33@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I thought this was a comedy sketch, then I see it’s the official Bundeswehr channel. What is this timeline?

Edit: I now have a theory https://lemmy.world/comment/11813752

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Idk, that seems a bit too credible for me...

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 9 points 3 months ago

He said the F-16 isn’t a game changer, instantly non-credible. If you put a dying flower next to an F-16, it will bloom.

[–] resetbypeer@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

let me try this with a different faction. /S just in case...

[–] MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io 34 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This looks like something out of Dr Strangelove or an early Bond film. If it weren’t for the modern bezel around the screen, I would not be able to tell the difference.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

I misread bezel as Brezel, and couldn’t tell if you were making a German joke or if there was a hidden pretzel somewhere on the border

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Comparing the art direction of a Bond film to Dr Strangelove, to the point you can't tell the difference, is something I have never seen before.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago

That screen shot though. It took me a second to realize this wasn't a Monty Python skit.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Kraus stumbled out of the wreckage of die Zeitmaschine, disoriented and alone.

The bunker was long gone, replaced by a gleaming modern city that bore little resemblance to the remains of the Berlin he knew. The streets were clean, the buildings were standing tall, and strange vehicles zipped by silently.

His heart raced as he wandered through the city, trying to make sense of what had happened. He found himself drawn to a large department store with rows of televisions in the window. On every screen, a news broadcast played, showing an attack against Kursk in Russia. The familiar German black cross was still emblazoned on tanks, but the uniforms were different—sleek, modern. And soldiers spoke a language that he didn’t understand. Aren’t they German? He was confused.

And then he saw him: Panzergeneral Freuding, analyzing the battle with calm authority. His sharply ironed grey uniform offering a familiar sight. Kraus’s heart leaped. The Reich was still fighting. The war was still on. But… how?

He stepped closer to the screens, trying to understand the reports. The news anchor spoke of a war that had begun in 2022, of a Russian invasion repelled, a brave Ukraine pushing the enemy back into their territory. Kraus’s mind reeled. This wasn’t the war he remembered. This wasn’t 1945.

But perhaps… perhaps they had succeeded. Look at this city, more modern and beautiful than he ever remembered. And the German tanks rolling over the steppe, filling him with pride. Perhaps they had somehow altered history with the time machine, and shifted the tide in their favor?

Kraus straightened, a grim smile spreading across his face. He was the only one left, the last survivor of the old war, but it didn’t matter. His sacrifice had not been in vain. The Reich could be victorious after all. As he stood there, watching the tanks on the screen, he felt a new sense of purpose washing over him. "Für das Vaterland," he whispered to himself, and walked over to the train station to find the first wagon going to the Eastern front.

And this time, he was here to make sure they win.

Edit: this is intended to be ironic. Fuck nazis. https://lemmy.world/comment/11839482

[–] geissi 15 points 3 months ago

Berlin clean and beautiful? This must be some alternate history.

[–] verity_kindle@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

u/slaacaa, I don't know what your intention is in posting this...creative writing.... exercise, but this isn't a community for posting fanfiction or historical fiction. You seem new to commenting at NCD, so I'd like to give you, @slaacaa@lemmy.world a moment to explain your point of view before taking any action as a mod. Could you add some context, is your post/story intended to be irony? Please respond publicly in this thread by tonight, that is 8-17. Thank you.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hi, yes, it is very definitely intended as ironic, shredding light on the - in my view absurdly - repetitive patterns in history. Based the comments and the upvotes this humor hopefully came through for most readers, but I understand nuance is not always obvious in written text.

I hope ironic comments like these are not against the rules, but happy to adjust my style/content, if needed. I am a long-time lurker and occasional NCD commenter from the reddit, so I was thinking I have a good grasp on the sub - please let me know if not.

I also want to clarify that I spent around 5 minutes on the “story” above, by giving ChatGPT some prompts and editing the output to fit what I was trying to achieve with a comment. I am luckily not some basement dwelling teen writing WW2 fanfic for hours every day.

Thanks for reaching out as a mod, instead of just purging/banning, I appreciate that. Maybe I should have replied to the comment accusing me, but I thought the irony was obvioud and absurd, but maybe not.

To make it even more clear, in case anybody was doubting: fuck nazis.

[–] verity_kindle@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Ok, that's what I was hoping to hear from you. Post stays, we good. Basement dwellers and WWII obsessors are always welcome here, but fuck time traveling Nazis. "Iron Sky" was fun, but before reading the context you provided, your post gave me da hibbity jibbities. Thank you to all the morons and moronettes who expressed their concerns. Let's always have a dialogue, not a monologue, this isn't hexbear, lemmy.ml or lemmygrad. THIS IS NCD. OUT.

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (11 children)
load more comments (11 replies)
[–] Broken_Monitor@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This image is giving me some real Command and Conquer vibes

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Just waiting for Tanya to walk in from slightly off screen, reference 99 red balloons as she explains a new kind of attack drone swarm, and then tell us she'll be in position, and she's counting on us.

[–] zerosignal@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The camo background and index card are probably really helpful in the modern office combat environment.

[–] verity_kindle@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Maybe the camo index card is a tablet?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This looks like it was filmed in the 40's and only colorized in 2024.

That's just what Germany looks like, same as everything being sepia in Mexico

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 months ago

Downfall (2024)

[–] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 4 points 3 months ago

I somehow stumbled onto that video a couple days ago and watched it in amazement.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 3 months ago

Oh. Oh no. Not again.

/s

load more comments
view more: next ›