this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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I'll never understand how difficult people make things by not being forthright and making things awkward:
"Is it okay if I bring my boyfriend?"
"...I think there's been a misunderstanding. I had asked you on a hike as a fun first date, I didn't realize you had a boyfriend. I'm going to bow out of this, but I can give you the hike info if you want to take him." And then you laugh about the misunderstanding the next work day, and keep things at work from then on. No reason for it to get bad. Flirting is still fun! Just leave it at that without expecting anything more.
Don't flirt with someone single if you're not interested, don't flirt with someone in a relationship if you're not interesting in breaking it.
It's just that simple.
I wonder if you have a different definition of flirting, because the end goal of flirting is not necessarily to gain a relationship.
yeah, flirting for fun can be ... fun, but obviously OOP wasn't te only one to read more into that. There's a line between "platonic" flirting and getting someone's hopes up.
Miscomunications can happen. She probably wasn't aware that what she meant as friendly behviour was comming across as serious flirting to other people. No need to instantly suspect malice, she was obviously shocked and shamed by the result, so much so that she quit her job, which seems rather extreme to me.
I just find it hard to agree with because at no point did anon ask if she was single. He assumed it because he thought she was flirting. He even went so far to ask her on a date.
Ah, sorry, I thought you were single and that this would be a fun first date. My mistake, and enjoy the hike w/your boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with that. Mistakes happen, and the ability to clarify them and work well together afterwards is more important than not making mistakes.
Apparently anon is incapable of this though lol.
Or at least, hasn't learned to do out yet.