this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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I had the displeasure of seeing one of these contraptions in person for the first time recently. Pictures do not adequately convey just how ugly these abominations are.
I live in a major city in America so sadly see them daily.. I’d say around 70% have a custom vinyl wrap or are painted instead of being left stainless steel tho.
One store near my work is a retro games shop, they bought one and wrapped it in their colors/logo and I think it’s funny since my wife often says the truck looks like Laura Croft’s tits
Your wife is brilliant.
She certainly is
I saw one for the first time on the road today. The thing made me bust out laughing. It looks absurd.
I live in California and see maybe 20 every day. It never gets old laughing at them. Had a customer yesterday who owned one as well as a model s. The S was in his garage but not his toy truck. He was a douche so I fucked with him.
"How do you like your truck?"
"Love it, it's so sick bro"
"How come you don't park it in your garage with your car? Will it not fit?"
"No, it just barely fits, but I like having it outside so people see it."
"Aren't you worried about people fucking with it or it rusting? Heard they rust easily"
"Where did you hear that? This baby is stainless steel!"
"Literally everywhere on the internet, that's why so many people get it wrapped apparently. Also, have you taken it in for any of the recalls?"
"It hasn't had any recalls bro, this thing is perfect"
"Hmm. I heard it had like 5 recalls already, you should look into it."
"That's just haters taking shit dude it isn't true."
"Yeah, you're prolly right. This thing gets a lot of hate from like everyone for being ridiculous and impractical, but Elon musk made it so it must be awesome."
"Bro literally invented spaceships dude he's a legit genius."
"Pretty sure he didn't invent them. He just owns the company."
He proceeded to explain that he may not have made the first one but he'll be the first to get man to Mars and spaceships weren't cool until he made them that way. He used the truck as evidence of his genius and how he will be humanities savior. I was fucking speechless honestly. The only thing genius about this is he cornered the fucking enormous douchebag market so well they gaslight themselves into believing that we're all jealous and or too poor to understand. I spray for bugs for a living. This guy got water sprayed on his property and I don't feel even remotely bad about it.
Spraying water seems too tame. Next time spray horny bug pheromones so they multiply like rabbits!
I didn't realize how big they were until one of my kids ran over to "the fortnite truck". Massive, ugly, and expensive.
Oh yeah. And not just big. Like big in a this truck has no usable space kind of big and long. So long.
And yet they’re much smaller than most of the Ford trucks out there.
I just realized. It has size of a bus and capacity of a car.
It also has a poly count lower than most people's shoe size.
So this century's civilian hummer.
There are at least 4 different ones around where I live. I know, because they are all wrapped in different colors. One unwraped, one blue, one red, one white, and one black. Its astounding that many people bought it out around here