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I said I had never eaten vegan food. She asked if I’d like to try it at her favorite restaurant. She then made a huge deal about me being “only” vegetarian as we ate. Stunned as she went on and on about what a terrible, ignorant person I was, I noticed there was something odd about her front teeth, like they were stained. I didn’t think much of it and tried not to stare. She also kept insisting repeatedly that it wasn’t a date. Ok, that’s fine, I said which only seemed to make her angrier.
We get in the car, and I’m relieved it’s almost over. She looks in the rear view, and starts freaking out that I hadn’t told her she had lipstick on her teeth the entire time. I tried to explain I didn’t know what it was and didn’t want her to be self-conscious. Awkward silence as she drove me home. Next day I noticed she had blocked me on everything. Good riddance I guess.
I would have walked myself home after that. Good riddance indeed.
I should’ve had my friend pick me up but this was the time before cell phones were ubiquitous. She had sort of cooled off near the end and had given me a mix tape. Thought maybe it was just bad timing. Wasn’t expecting her to go ballistic. Food was good though.
Really? You've never eaten just fries?
Good for you dodging that crazy bullet though.
I mean, vegan substitutions for things like chicken I suppose. And yeah, I was completely bewildered the entire time. Even before this she was always semi-hostile in conversations but she always hit me up. It was bizarre.
If it has salt on it, it's not considered Vegan...
What animal does salt come from again?
You know how they say this is a living, breathing planet? Yep, there you go. True vegan food comes from lifeless planets.
Regolith can be tasty.
You mean sea salt? Yeah, there’s tiny shellfish in it, which is why kosher salt exists