this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.

High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia's Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.

A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.

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[–] Soup@lemmy.world 118 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I’m sorry the hwhat?!

I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 148 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

They didn't. They named it "Sarmat".

NATO also had reporting names for Soviet weapons. IIRC surface-to-surface missiles start with "S". A few are rather...less-than complimentary, "Satan" -- the name used for the weapon that this replaces -- probably being the most so.

This missile doesn't have the reporting name "Satan 2" for NATO, though. The only link it has with the original surface-to-surface missile with the NATO reporting name "Satan" is that it's supposed to replace it and so Western media, which very much enjoyed mentioning "Satan" wherever possible, dubbed the new missile "Satan 2". But it's not an official name with NATO or Russia, just something that the media uses for the clicks.

The original missile:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R-36_%28missile%29#R-36M

The new one:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RS-28_Sarmat

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No wonder the media is using Satan II. NATO hasn't given it one or is just referring to it by number. I'd do the same thing if I was reporting on it.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 27 points 2 months ago (3 children)

They gave it one. It's just not as evocative as "Satan":

 NATO reporting name: SS-X-29 or SS-X-30

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Well they couldn’t very well call it the Sexy 29.

[–] GenosseFlosse 21 points 2 months ago

No you can't, because Russia can't get it up!

I'll show myself out...

[–] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Found a Techpriest

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago
[–] bstix@feddit.dk 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Sounds like a Tesla model or one of Elon's kids.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

NATO hasn’t given it one or is just referring to it by number.

I'm not surprised the media went with Satan II.

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

Sounds like NATO should name it “Stupid”

But really we should name all nuclear weapons Stupid anyway.

[–] fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

The Kremlin is probably happy to hear it called Satan. They're getting desperate and empty threats of global nuclear war are one of the only cards they have left.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Extremely angry at my military for naming it's unlimited genocide machine "Big Evil Monster" rather than "Widdle Fuzzy Bunny Wabbit".

Almost don't even want them to use it anymore.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can just give it a simple code. We don’t need fun names for this stuff.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We actually need the fun names. The point is that barely-educated Private Joe in the military remembers what it is and how it looks like, and does not mix it up with other things if he sees it.

It's not a nickname, it's an official reporting name.

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

Satan 2 literally is a nickname.

The official NATO reporting name is SS-X-29

The official Russian name is RS-28

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

That's why he named it Satan 2.