I only struggle when someone pauses after making a point that seems complete, only to start adding more points the moment i begin to reply. The most annoying part is that i feel like an asshole for just trying to engage. So then i sit there trying to multitask listening, holding into my response, editing it, and managing anxiety, which leads to missing most of their additional points. This varies wildly individual to individual.

Luckily people are pretty forgiving...

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Strange... I don't remember making this comment and yet it's here already.

Are you me? This is literally me IRL ALL THE TIME!

In my experience though some people are forgiving, others not so much. But the ones that are often times can become friends

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hahaha yeah...

It's taken me waayyyy too long to recognize that someone being unforgiving about it is a red flag.

It took therapy to realize there are things i can't change about myself and this might be one. Still have to work on it but can't beat myself up over it.

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The hardest part is not beating yourself up for things about yourself that you can't change

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

That's definitely a hard part. This is probably a non-sequitor but I always felt like others had their shit together and assumed them to be valid when they talked and my own thoughts/emotions to be subject to that validity. But that just leads to an internal unwillingness to communicate those feelings out of fear of invalidating them and the faulty logic that i must be invalid when in reality both people have real, immediate experience and emotion. So i would beat myself up instead of pressing them to meet on the same level.

Bleh, anyways, theres a nugget in there which led me to be more willing to assert my own validity. That helped a lot with my anxiety. But i still walk away from every social interaction over analyzing everything and being critical of myself. I'm just learning to be a little more critical of others too, that they made a choice in how to interact with me, and that i either appreciated it or not.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Pick one:

A) Sit there and try to listen while repeating your response in your head so you don't forget it, but you put too much attention towards that and miss everything they add

B) Listen intently, but forget what you wanted to say.

ADHD sure is a superpower!

[–] cybersandwich@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This just seems like something everyone does. Is this an ADHD symptom?

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Hohoho boy

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Look at meme: "I'm pretty sure i got the condition"

Look medical resources: "This list of symptoms describes me."

Everyone you know: "I'm pretty you i got the condition"

The therapist: "That will take 6mo and $5k. to figure out and first we have to address the symptom of the condition to make sure the symptom isn't cauaing the condition, not included."