this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
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oh this is going to go remarkably poorly. the only time I’ve seen some of my family effectively boycott a technology was when they realized all the Alexa shit they got for cheap was fucking terrible and wouldn’t stop pushing ads to them, actively trying to get them to order shit, and lighting up their bedroom with a bright notification light (for either a package status they didn’t care that much about or more ads) they couldn’t turn off. so they boxed up all their Alexa shit and asked if I needed any of it for scrap parts (I did not)
it’s also fucking remarkable how doomed this is. did they talk to none of the people responsible for frog boiling over at Prime Video? come on, we all know the steps:
but amazon’s not doing the above obvious shit they always do in this case, and I think I know why: unlike streaming, people fucking hate voice assistants, so this $5-$10 fee might just be a desperate strategy to get true believers paying (or they’re fine with killing Alexa by making the subscription version mandatory)
what if we enshittified, right, enshittification
I regret to inform you that you’ve been promoted to VP of Innovation
I wonder what the Alexa backend costs relative to user base and data value. Seems like they aren't likely to get much more useful information than they already get from other sources, and even ignoring the forest-burning hell that is LLMs earlier voice recognition technology wasn't free in terms of compute.
that’s about what I’m thinking too. like, the way people seem to use voice assistants (kitchen timers when your hands are dirty, smart device control since smartphones are weirdly bad at it and there’s no other acceptable ambient interface for this, music/wifi audio) doesn’t match at all with how the companies that make them assume they’re being used for the most part, so there’s every chance most people aren’t engaging with the money-making parts of Alexa (namely the constant ads, data-exfiltrating integrations, and of course the ability to order more shit from Amazon with your voice which everyone I know with an Alexa device disabled immediately for obvious reasons)
it’s entirely possible this LLM horseshit is the make or break moment for Alexa — either it somehow turns a better profit, or they finally have an exit from the voice assistant market
I think I recall reading something a while back that said the original plan was to make alexa a kind of platform, like a thing that vendors could deliver apps for, but that it completely fell on its arse for some reason (can’t remember now if it was cost or some petty “design choice” fuckup by amazon restricting something, or what). I’ll try find the article later
which comes to mind for me because this choice feels quite a bit like re-attempting keeping that pitch alive while also moving the hard part (and cost centre) elsewhere
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2022/11/amazon-alexa-is-a-colossal-failure-on-pace-to-lose-10-billion-this-year/
while looking for that I also found these gems (from here):
oh yes tell me again how shitty-and-corp-flavour lcars with extreme reaction latency because of a dc roundtrip is something everyone would want just because it's $20
"way more interesting" brings to mind that quote regarding "technical sweetness"..