ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
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Mark NSFW content accordingly.
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Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

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MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com

171

Rant about "having ADHD is not an excuse for everything" (reddthat.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by souperk@reddthat.com to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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If you haven't heard this cliche while discussing your neurodivergency with someone, then I envy your luck. Yesterday I fucked up, I feel shitty, but also I am pissed.

Our brains are impulsive af and tend to forget the most important information. We mess up, our RSD (and empathy) kicks in, we feel terrible, we vow to be more careful, but guess what? Thats fucking exhausting.

As a result, we start overthinking our every waking moment, stressing over every little thing. Because, we are trying to be aware of the things we cannot perceive.

At some point, hopefully we realize that we cannot live like that, and we start to arbitrarily ignore our compulsion to overthink. Most often that works out great because most often the threat is not real, but sometimes we make the wrong call.

The times we overthink are still more than the times we do not, and we still mess up. Let us have our fucking peace.

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[–] AnxiousOtter@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

This doesn't seem reasonable... If you accept some responsibility, duty, job, whatever, it's your responsibility to ensure that you take whatever steps are necessary for you to complete that task. It's not everyone else's job to babysit you and make sure you actually do the thing you agreed to do.

I probably just wouldn't ask you for anything anymore after you burned me the first time and just go with someone else... You might think that's unfair, but we've all got our own problems and my time is better spent going with a more reliable option.

[–] aksdb@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

This doesn’t seem reasonable… If you accept some responsibility

But ... that was the point. "Telling them your boundaries" implies not accepting something you are not up to. My managers know that I am not a good manager myself. I have a lot of qualities, at being a driving force in a project is not among them. So they don't utilize me for that. Which is good.

Yes, it would be on me if I constantly tell them "sure, just let me handle it" and then not handle it. But that would be the opposite of what I wrote above.

[–] AnxiousOtter@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I don't disagree with your quoted section. I was more referring to this:

Simple example: I tell colleagues, family, whatever to please remind me again if they feel I missed something they expected of me. If they do, all is good. If they later are pissed that I missed something and immediately blame me ... sorry my friend, I warned you.

You can't expect people to constantly remind you and check up on you. I would rather just do the thing myself at that point.

[–] die444die@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I think this may be a misunderstanding of what they are saying.

If you think I’ve forgotten a task you asked me to do, then I probably have. Say something. Don’t sit there stewing like I forgot it on purpose.

It’s not about them constantly checking up and reminding, it’s about reacting with anger to something we have no control over.

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